No matter where you stand, Pro-Willie or Anti Willie both sides must agree that if he hasn’t lost the clubhouse yet he’s close to it. The hostility came to a head yesterday when Billy Wagner THE voice in the clubhouse aired the dirty laundry, I understand Wagner’s frustration and he couldn’t hold his tongue no longer by calling out Carlos Delgado for pulling a “McRenyolds” and going out the back door before the press enter the room but my ethnic background of having both parents born in Ireland has been instilled in me the”never put your business on the street”.

The Mets have lost that certain something they had back in 2006 what I like to call that FUCK YOU mentality. Don’t like the way Jose Reyes celebrates with dances and handshakes FUCK YOU. Don’t like the way the dugout jumps up on the top step on big hits? FUCK YOU. Don’t like the way the Mets rejoice in winning a game with leaps in the air and excessive gyrations? FUCK YOU. Don’t like all the Salsa music? FUCK YOU. All of that is missing. Jose Reyes is not the same Jose Reyes. He isn’t the ignitor of the offense. Remember in spring training how he said he was going to be more serious and no more handshakes and even no more Professor Reyes skits on the Jumbotron? It may sound like stupid shit, but someone got to him and told him to change his ways. Was it Omar? No. Why would Omar care? The Skill Sets? Hell no. They are in the entertainment business. That leaves What Me Worry Willie who should be called I Better Worry Willie. Randolph has the personality of Styrofoam. When he played for the Highlanders in the 70’s he was always below the happy horse shit of Billy Martin, Reggie, Goose and everything else that made up the Bronx Zoo.

Does he get mad? Yes. The SNY cameras show his clinched lips and disappointment but Willie is a non-confrontational person. He won’t yell at a player or an umpire. His post game press conference is dreadful. The media tries it’s hardest to get something out of him and quite frankly he comes off as absolutely clueless. When you sit there and recite the same mantra over and over again that “It’s early, lot of games left” and the all time classic “My guys battled” that tells me you have no idea whatsoever on why your team plays like shit and you have no way of fixing the problem.

I get no joy out of calling for Willie’s head but the facts are facts this team is in need of an infusion of piss and vinegar.  Since mid season last year they have been treading water staying at or a little below the mediocrity of .500 baseball. I can’t remember where I heard this but I agree 100 %, when times are tough Willie wilts. In so many words yesterday Grandpa Alou made it known he was ready and willing to play, in fact he was shocked he wasn’t in the line up. He made this known to Randolph that he wanted to play but was told he was saving him to play this weekend. The games are being played in an American League park so the DH is in play that would help Grandpa get his rest.  Even with Brian Schneider. I know the old day game after a night deal but Schneider has not played enough to get tired and again the DH rule comes into play for the next three games as Schneider could do that as well. It was great to see Big Plef pitch like a stud yesterday (the biggest crime yesterday is that Pelf’s start is overlooked by the Willie/Wagner crapola) with Ramon Castro but I would like to see Schneider catch Pelf. Gotta have a feel for your personnel Willie.

So who would replace Willie? One name that was brought to me was Frank Robinson. But Robby is 73 years old. I thought of Buck Showalter but I can’t see Omar working with a control freak like Buck. Gary Carter would take the job in a heartbeat and would be a choice of mine as would Wally Backman. I think the Skill Sets would go with Carter but maybe shy of Backman and his baggage. The guy I would reach out to if I had the authority to make the decsion on the next Mets manger would be Tom Kelly.

Now I have no knowledge if TK wants back into the managerial fraternity or not but this would be an ideal spot for Kelly. He’s a no nonsense guy who is a proven winner who would challenge his players. So Omar, Skill Sets there it is The Eddie Kranepool Society endorses Tom Kelly for next manager of the Mets.          

I’m hanging out at 30 Rock with my favorite anchor woman Sue Simmons, who is a big time Mets fan. While I’m mixing a Highball for Sue and myself to enjoy while watching our favorite baseball team, she starts screaming “THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING”!!!!!!!! I thought “oh Chuck Scarborough’ here, let me make him a drink” but no it was Sweet Sue reacting to Willie Randolph brining in Aaron Heilman.  Needless to say, I put an extra shot of Canadian Club in Sue’s drink.

Can you put a player on the DL for mental anguish? Seriously, since Aaron Heilman has not physical problems maybe he needs time off to clear his head? Maybe if he curled up in the fetal position inside his locker the Mets could pull this disabled list scam. The other thing that ran through my limited mind was, is Heilman affected again by the string of journeymen pitchers who keep getting starts over him? I haven’t seen a man so conflicted since HBO showed a bunch of He/She’s on the stroll in Honolulu, Last year it was Dave Williams, Brain Lawrence and Chan Ho Park. This year it’s Nelson Figueroa and Claudio Vargas. At what point does Heilman go home and cry to his wife, “why doesn’t Willie think I’m pretty”?  Does Rick Peterson have a say in any of this? Does he go to Willie Randolph and say it’s time to put Heilman in the rotation just to have Willie say no? If that happens does Peterson go over Randolph’s head and chirp to Omar or even to top lieutenant Tony Bernazard? Just thinking out loud here folks.

I’m going down to the Pleasure Chest today in the Village to buy a couple of blow up dolls for the Mets to ignite the offense. The can stick their bats in any orifice they like. The dolls have to be Ozzie Guilen approved of course.

Scintillating analysis on SNY Post Game show last night between Coney Island Lee and Matt Snoozoff. The topic of the post game was of course the massive melt down of Aaron Heilman. Instead of clips of his delivery or breakdown of pitch selection or even a discussion of his desire to start, what we got from Mermaid Avenue Mazzilli and that pest Yalloff was the fans are booing so much it has affected Heilman. I don’t know what’s more upsetting the simplistic approach of these two “analysts” or the fact that get paid for this.  Oh and a memo to Harold Reynolds, stop cow towing to Mazzilli, as long as you don’t play grab ass with the secrataries your job is safe.

Time to pee in your corn flakes. The Tampa Bay Rays have signed Scott Kazmir for three years $28.5 mil. Enjoy your breakfast.

Fernando Martinez “tweaked” a hammy last night while playing for Bingo. He’s day to day so he should be ready but spring training.

Gary Cohen, Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling will broadcast today’s game from the Upper Deck of Shea today. Special guest will be my Lord and Savior (bow your heads) Ed Kranepool and Art Shamsky. The under/over for what inning Mex bails out to the Diamond Club after mingling with the great unwashed is the 4^th inning.

Does Willie Randolph know that he is allowed to argue with umpires? Lat night Grandpa Moises got tossed by home plate (ch) ump Dana De Muth on a called strike that the camera proved was outside. Alou who hardly ever gets his old keyster in an uproar slammed his bat on home plate and De Muth knowing the camera was on him ripped off his mask and threw Gramps out of the game. The camera then focused on Alou going back to the dugout and there is Willie Randolph just standing there like he was waiting for the Q88 bus. If I’m a player on the Mets bench, I think I’m starting to question if Randolph has any fire in his belly (maybe a sack of White Castles would do the trick) or if he has my back. What if anything will make Willie “go off”? Please Cousin Barry shed some light on what makes Willie tick (off)?  

Let’s get to a few quick hits:

Petey is pitching a simulated game tomorrow. Hopefully he does well so he gets named to the Simulated Baseball League All Star Team. In fact I’d like to double check this with Elias but I think Petey is the all time leader in wins in the Simulated League. I know for a fact he is the leader in innings pitched down there. 

If you were wondering about El Duque he will compete in the 2K MLB game on the Wii and if he comes out of that okay he will move on to Wiffle Ball competion.

As per Metsblog, Claudio Vargas will be given the start tomorrow against Chico’s Bail Bondman’ Nationals tomorrow and Fernando Tatis could join him on the flight from NOLA as well as Gimp Castillo looks DL bound. Maybe Gimp can catch Iron Man at the Cineplex while he convalesces.

What a scandal, Sue Simmons of Channel 4 news here in NYC said “FUCK” during a promo for the 11 O’clock News. It seems she was promoting a story about high grocery prices when a clip of a woman jumping over board came on the screen and  Suzy Sims screamed “What the fuck are you doing”? A valid question if you ask me. What’s amazing is that people actually called the WNBC switch board to complain. I wish I worked the switchboard there as I’d tell the callers to go fuck off.

From all reports it looks like Joe Smith will be sent to NOLA instead of cutting  the totally inept Jorge Sosa due to money. Don’t believe the bullshit spewing from the Mets that their afraid someone might claim Sosa on waivers, as bad as the pitching situation is in baseball, no one is breaking down the door for a reliever with a 7+ ERA. So now you know what is going to happen, Sosa is going to come into a game (like last night) and get his tits lit up and hopefully it’s a day when there are 50,000 plus so the booing will be so loud that Jeffy Wilpon will be crawled up in a ball in the corner of his luxury box crying  “DADDY  MAKE THEM STOP !!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(UPDATE: Bravo Omar!!! Nelson Figueroa and Jorge Sosa have been DFA’d and Angel Pagan has been put on the DL. Up comes Claudio Vargas who will pitch tomorrow and Matt Wise joins the bullpen and FernandoTatis brings a righty bat for the bench. and Joe Smith keeps the spot in the pen he earned . Hugs and ass pats all around )

As you can see I’m in a real pissy mood today as I still can’t believe that Papoose tried that shit yesterday at Rikers ruined the whole fucking day. Man, Remy looked hot in that orange wedding dress and the chipped beef on toast smell so good at the mess (reception) hall.  I’m not sure I can ever forgive him.       

I had a day to remember yesterday.  I’m getting ready to head over to Rikers Island as my homey Papoose is going to get hitched to Remy Ma. Now Remy is in the joint for cappin’ a friend of hers outside a club and is doing a 25 year stretch on The Rock. But Papoose loves Remy so much that even the jail house walls can’t stop his commitment to her and wants to get married right there outside her cell block.  So I load up my Hoop-Dee and head down to Park Hill in Staten Island to pick up the Wu Tang Clan and off we go with our best jeans around our thighs and plaid boxer shorts freshly pressed we head off the wedding of the year. We pull up to gate and the guard looks in and asks us to state our business. I let him know “Yo, Yo, we are here for the Papoose-Remy Ma wedding” The guard then tells us the awful news that the wedding was off. “What?” I say nearly dropping the fatty I just rolled, “What do you mean it’s off?” I got Al Sharpton on speed dial don’t let me hit the button” The screw then tells me that Papoose tried to smuggle a handcuff key into Rikers and now he’s been banned for six months from visiting Remy.  Wow, I needed a shot a Hennessey after that. But my day got worse.

My cell phone starts ringing about 10:30 last night and I look at the call ID and it says FIGGY:

Me: What’s up? Tough night eh?

Figgy: (sobbing) y-y-y-eah (sobbing some more)

Me: Figgy, are you crying?

Figgy: (sniffing back snot into his head) no, no I’m ok. (then the crying starts again)

Me: hey, it’s alright sure you pitched like shit tonight but you have to work on getting through the batting order a second time around I guess your pitches are too predicable and…………………………

Figgy: NO NO IT”S NOT THAT! THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME AND DOING CHEERS TO DISTRACT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Look make up your mind. If the fans boo you’re pissed off, now the cheer and your upset, shit get over it will you?

Figgy: NO, not the fans. The Nationals. They were doing cheers in the dugout and laughing at me I’M SOOOOOOOOO UPSET  (Now Figgy is bawling)

Me: The Nats were cheering you mean like in Little League “We want a pitcher not a belly itcher type of thing?

Figgy: Yes

Me: So what did you do?

Figgy: Uh I told the media about it.

Me: You told the media? You mean you didn’t throw a pitch at someone’s ribs? Or when you were taken out of the game you didn’t’ go over to the Nationals dugout and call out the head cheer leader? Who was cheering by the way?

Figgy: Eljah Dukes and the Milledge kid. No I just walked off the mound

Me: Dukes and Milledge? Damn those two wanna be gangsta’s?  Figgy, you’re from Coney Island bro, one of the toughest places in the country. If that shit happened on Surf Ave you’d take them under the Boardwalk and beat their phony asses  Why didn’t you tear them up?

Figgy: I-I-I- don’t know. You’re right I should have nailed Milledge with a fastball or even called Dukes out of the dugout and make him face me man to man but something was holding me back I don’t know what it was?

Me: Welcome to being a Met.

Figgy: What?

Me: It’s that uniform. It wasn’t always like that, back in the day the Mets never took any bullshit from anyone especially a bunch sorry ass players from a last place team and never ever on our home field. But sorry to say the last eight years, the Mets have let asteroid charged adulterous pitcher hit their star player in the head with a fastball and then a busted bat and have let teams dictated how they shake hands and play the game without retaliation something our Brooklyn upbringing would never let us do.

Figgy: I think you’re on to something

Me: You know why a no talent bullshit squad like the Nats plays you guys for chumps? Because the word is out that the only pair of balls on the team belongs to Billy Wagner. I hope you guys prove me wrong tonight and John Maine hits Milledge right in the ribs and starts a bench clearer just to prove to me and the rest of the fan base that you guys are sick and tired of being of push around.

Figgy: WOW you’re on to something maybe I’ll say something in the clubhouse before the game.

Me: Be careful about that Willie will accuse you of making waves.      

Two out of three from the Reds is okay but I would love to see more length out of the starters as it seems they turn into pumpkins after inning number six. Ollie Perez was the Good Ollie yesterday but he TIRED after 103 pitches. I know we are in a different era of MLB but how does a big strong kid like Perez get tired after 103 pitches? But that should not overshadow his fine performance yesterday. Big Pelf pitched well in a losing cause but his was his best start in the last three. At some point Johan Santana while he has been terrific has to start giving the Mets some length in his starts. His last three starts have gone 5 2/3 6 and 6 innings his next start should be Friday in the Bronx and a complete game shout out would be mighty nice.

So the Mets are at 19-16 after the weekend with the woeful Nats next up and with the winter like conditions here in NYC today (rain and temps in the 40’s THE FORTIES!!!!!!!!!!! In the middle of May?) and the rotation in flux the Mets should call off today’s game by 11 AM.

Gimp Castillo has a sore quad and three years left on his contract. Jeff Keppinger hit Mets pitching like he was dropping tokens in a batting machine. Oh by the way Keppinger used to play for the Mets I think second base if I’m not mistaken.

Nice to see the Carlos y Carlos hitting the ball and fortifying the line up. I have set up a shrine in my basement with votive candles surrounded by pictures and baseball cards of Grandpa Alou praying for his good health for the rest of the season as his prescentes in the lineup makes a big difference. I have even started to pee on my hands before every Mets game as well. Oh yes, I can’t forget to stop at the Hal-Al market on the way home for a live chicken to sacrifice. Whatever it takes to keep Grandpa in the lineup I’m up for.

The last time I saw a team hit out of order was when the Mets played the Cubs in Japan and Don Baylor was the Cubs manager. Baylor got pissed off at Bobby Valentine for bringing it up to the umpires as I recall. The rule is so convoluted but the umpires got it right. I know the Little League rule book is similar to the MLB book as it pertains to items like batting gout of order but the way they word some of the rules leaves a lot to interopetation. Thankfully I have never had that happen to me. Dusty Baker should be embarrassed.    

 I froze my ass off at Miller Field on Staten Island yesterday as the Staten Island Soccer Federation does not have the decency that the Staten Island Little League has to not schedule games on Mother’s Day.  Miller Field was an old airport back during WW II and is now a Federal park and the place where about 100 soccer games a weekend are played (by the way my son played for a couple of seasons with disgraced Congressman Vito Fossella’s son and I’m not surprised by the latest scandal. Even though my political point of view is the complete opposite of Fossella’s I found him a nice enough fellow but I always wondered why when he came to the games, he never sat with his wife and family?  In fact my wife and his wife usually sat together away from the parents of the kids on our team who were total assholes with their yelling and screaming. After games he would walk by himself. to his car. My wife would always ask me “What’s up with Vito he’s so weird?”) I can’t remember any time in the middle of May where I wore a turtleneck shirt, hooded sweatshirt Mets jacket and gloves and was still cold. But I digress; as my son was playing I listen to the Mets-Reds game on WFAN. When Howie Rose was doing the radiocast I forgot how cold and hungry I was and just sat on my little folding chair enjoying the play by play and his witty anecdotes. He told of giving grief to equipment manger Charlie Samuels who is the man behind the Mets wearing the hideous Black uni tops. Howie like myself loves the classic pinstripe with the all royal blue hat. It was great radio. Then Wayne Haggin took over and all of a sudden I was miserable and wanted to get this damn game over with as Haggin in his totally generic radio voice did not exactly radiate much enthusiasm. Now I know it’s hard to follow a Mets mench like Rose but whoever thought that hiring Haggin was good idea should be fired. Haggin would be good for a team like the Royals or even Tampa Bay (more on their telecast in a minute) The Mets should find a way to use Howie ,Gary Cohen and Ron Darling like the way Murph, Lindsay Nelson and Ralph Kiner interchanged from TV to radio during a game.

By the way my son’s team lost 3-2 but they were down 3 nil at the half and my son was put in goal. He made three big saves that put a spark in his team to comeback and score 2 goals. I’m sending the tapes to Roy Keane (no relation) to see if Sunderland is interested.

I was watching the Tampa Bay Rays post game show Friday night after James Shields pitched a one hitter and Evan Longoria hit the game winning 2 run home run and the host of the post game show whose name I don’t know, was pleading with the good folks of Tampa to come out and support this young and exciting Rays team. He said there were 13,000 fans at the game that night and they were expecting over 20,000 on Saturday (it was some giveaway day) and to tell the truth it was really strange watching this guy beg for fans to come out to the ball park and yesterday Howie Rose telling fans the best way to get to Shea this year is by mass transit due to the large crowds and limited parking available. A tale of two teams indeed.   

How in the world did Mets management think they were going to play a baseball game last night? As I left my office at 6:00PM it was not just raining up raining horizontally with high winds that left about 25 umbrellas from Worth St to Chambers St in trash cans as causalities of the weather. I guess when you sell as many tickets as the Mets have this season you can afford to kick your customers in the ass but that doesn’t make it right. So what we have today is the new wave doubleheader known as the day/night affair.

So Bob Raissman thinks I’m a lunatic because I’m not happy with the mediocre play of the Mets that started in the second half of last season and has carried over to this season. I guess cashing all those SNY paychecks from Daily News Barely Live has clouded his judgment. I guess I must be out of mind for question the ability of Willie Randolph who has made the same uninspiring statements over and over again during post game press conference that resemble hostage tapes. How dare I, a blogger who has played, coached and watch baseball for the majority of my life know anything where I can give criticism about the Mets over the great informed MSM types like Bob Raissman. Yes I admit I’m a lunatic when it comes to the Mets but I’d rather be a lunatic than a dickhead like you Bob.

I doubt the Mets and Reds get their game in today as the forecast is for rain all day and night and with the Reds making their only trip to NYC my guess would be a day/night double header for tomorrow or Sunday so that gives Omar Minaya another day to figure out how to add Matt Wise and Ramon Castro to the 25 man squad. Castro is easy. As efficient as Raul Casanova has been, the trade off to Castro is an upgrade but adding Wise will take a bit a spin on Omar’s part.  If it’s a straight baseball move then Jorge Sosa would be given his release money be damned, if it’s a money issued the Joe Smith would be sent down and that would send a bad message to the team and fans that we’re not interested in putting the best team we can on the field. The Sosa signing was a major folly by Minaya as the Jorge Sosa’s of the world are plentiful in fact with Claudio Vargas showing some life in NOLA (7K’s in his last start)  and Tony Armas Jr pitching well to go with Carlos Muniz and Willie Collazzo Sosa is more than expendable.

I admit that without Ryan Church the Mets would be much deeper in the muck and mire and so far the trade of Church and Brian Schneider is one in Omar’s win column and I was wrong about both players but I’m not writing off Lastings Milledge yet even though he seems to be on track to become the next Victor Diaz. Milledge is in danger of losing his center field spot as his fielding has been spotty and his bat has cooled off a lot as well. Hopefully the light will come on for the immature Milledge before it’s too late.

David Lennon with a good article on Aaron Heilman in NEWSDAY on how he made be thinking to much and not just going on instinct in his approach on the mound. At this point with Dirty Dauner looking to be in pre taxi cab crash mode and Joe Smith and Pedro Feliciano pitching well, it may be time to use Heilman for 2 or 3 innings of  relief and stretch his arm out and to use him as a viable option as a spot starter or even the fifth starter. Heilman’s big problem is his mix of pitches.  Heilman has been going mostly with his fastball and when it misses his with a change up has been getting way too much of the plate. He also seems to lack confidence in his slider that maybe if he was used for longer stints maybe he could regain that pitch.

I usually don’t like to celebrate mediocrity but a 3-3 road trip was as good as I expected from the Mets as they faced one of the best teams in the league and the hottest team in the league. Now it’s home to meet the Not So Fabulous Baker Boys of Cincy who are in much disarray, eight games out of first place, so Friday would be a good time to stop the two steps forward, two steps back approach the Mets have been saddled in since the last half of last year to now and start a nice run. This hovering at the .500 level should not be tolerated but What Me Worry Willie always seems to find the silver lining in this win one lose one approach.

Angel Pagan looks like he did Omar Minaya a favor by going head over heels into the stands yesterday and coming up with a bum shoulder. Pagan says it’s no biggie but I’m sure the MRI he takes today will show (Wink! Wink!) a strain or contusion that will land him on the 15 day DL as space is needed to activate Matt Wise and add him to the bullpen which will now become resemble an octopus with eight arms in it.

Speaking of the Red Legs did you know they hire a human to play their mascot? Really, this guy who was in a costume playing Mr. Red Legs fell off a cart in the outfield and his fake head fell off. I can’t believe the Reds use a man in a costume to be their mascot. How lucky are we Mets fans to have a real life being as Mr. Met as out beloved symbol.

A tip of the Mets cap to Carlos Gomez as he hit for the cycle last night. Gomez is hitting .282/.306.427 with an AL leading 13 SB. His OBP is low as he has walked only 3 times this year but he has played a fine centerfield for the Twinkies and just looks more comfortable every game. Just think he will price himself out the Twin Cities in a couple of years and maybe the Mets can get him back. Yes, I feel the same way about Scott Kazmir as well.

During yesterdays game Gary Cohen made reference to Gimp Castillo being more productive as a 2 hitter than an 8 hitter. The numbers show that as true:

#2 .258/..361/.290

#8 .182/.308/.182

Now the best part of the 2 hole for any Mets batter is you see lots of fastballs but Castillo as Gary noted does look more comfortable batting behind Reyes as he runs deep counts plus with Church showing a potent stick it might be wise to leave Gimp in the 2 spot and put Church in the 5 hole followed by Grandpa Moises this way you don’t have three lefties in a row if you went Church, Delgado, Schneider.

The AL MVP CY Young ROY for the AL are up at Baseball Happenings. Here are my picks:

AL MVP

1. Manny Ramirez
2. Josh Hamilton
3. Carlos Quentin

AL CY YOUNG

1 Cliff Lee

2 Diasuke Matsuzaka

3. Cheng-Ming Wang

AL ROY

1        Jacoby Ellsbury

      2 Greg Smith

      3 David Murphy

Looks like Junior Griffey could be on the move again this time back to Seattle, remember when the Mets for hot for Griffey and tried to use Mike Piazza as a recruiter ?

Sorry for the lateness of this post but to tell you the truth I’m tired of bitching and moaning over our underachieving team and also Matt Cerrone stole the words right out of my keyboard as I checked out MetsBlog this morning and what was on my mind.