WTF?

You can’t help it; it’s just an affliction of watching a lot of Mets games. People who never utter a curse word in their life say it. Rabbi’s in Williamsburg who are so strict to their religion that the site of the young hipsters who have taken over their neighborhood, riding bikes and putting up billborads of sexy people that cause them outrage say it. Little kids say it and the one the holiest man it the world said it to via telephone last night.

 

Kranepool Society: “YELLLLLLLLLOWWWWWWWW”

 

Caller:  How are you my son it’s Benedict

 

KS:  POPE BENIDCIT???????????? How are you your holiest?

 

Pope: I am good my son I’m checking on you.

 

KS: One me? Why? Did you have a vision?  Am I in danger?

 

Pope: Well when I saw you at Highlander Stadium you know you stood out to me.

 

KS: <chuckling> Yes I know, it’s not everyday you get asked to bless a Billy Wagner Bobble head <chuckling>

 

Pope: <laughing> very true my son and I am sorry about that blessing I think it was the Deer Park water I used as I usually go with the Pellegrino water for blessings.

 

KS : Hey you make do with what ya got but again why are you checking on me?

 

Pope: We got a new DirecTV system here in the Vatican and it came with the Extra Innings package and I must say I have grown found of the NY Mets. I remembered you as a Mets blogger and I figured you would be the one to ask?

 

KS: What is your question your Holy Father?

 

Pope: The bullpen. WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

There you have it even a holy man like Benny 16 can’t control himself.

 

It’s not so much What the Fuck there are a few Where the Fucks in there as well. Like where the fuck is Al Reyes and Ricardo Rincon and Bobby Parnell? It looks like Brain Stokes and Luis Ayala have lost a bit of the magic dust that was on them when  the bullpen went on it best streak of the year a few weeks ago so I’m just wondering why Al Reyes and Ricardo Rincon have not been used as of yet? J-Man? Anything?

 

Have you seen the list of items up for sale as the going out of business sale at Shea rolls on?  Anything from sacred artifacts like World Series Banners and the retired numbers to napkin holders to men’s rooms signs are for sale but as I pursued the list and a few things I was looking for were not listed like:

 

The still that Casey Stengel had to make his moonshine in the manager’s office.

 

The alleged secret sex tape showing M. Donald Grant all over Joan Whitney Payson’ assets.

 

Nelson Doubleday’s liver

 

The leftover programs from Richie Hebner Appreciation Night

 

The Lorne Brown Memorial Bathroom Stall Door

 

The mummified corpse of Art Howe

 

Rick Petersons bong

 

Gregg Jefferies diaper bag

 

The mirror that Dallas Green told his players to look in

 

The 5 year contract the Mets were ready to give Mac Scarce

 

Steve Phillips’ condom stash

 

Fran Healy’ can of corn

 

Vince Coleman’ Good Guy Award

 

Jay Horowitz little black book of super models phone numbers he’s dated

 

SPOLIER ALERT: I know the ending of tonight’s Mets-Nats game STOP READING IF YOU WANT TO BE SURPRISED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The bullpen blows it.

 

  

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Comments

  1. Ugggh.

    Ugggh.

    One question. I didn’t see Niese the other night, only had radio. Does Niese have the kind of stuff that Wainwright had back in 1996? Could he be a bullpen star for the rest of this year?

    Clutching at straws, I know.

  2. Eagle, good comparison between Niese and Wainright but at this point it’s a lot to ask of a kid like Niese to put him in a spot like that. J-Man even said he felt he rode him a bit to much on Saturday as he has pitched a full season allready.

  3. I witnessed all 3 Braves games this weekend. Shea was electric yesterday (more so than on Sat, when it had that doubleheader “I’ll save my emotions for later” feel). I left yesterday feeling like I was kicked in the balls. I have a bad feeling, folks. I’m really trying to stay positive-can someone say something that can help? This is cheaper than $150 per hour for therapy. Help!

  4. Something Else NOT Listed:

    “Eau De Baboon” Tim Mc Carver’s Hair Coloring;

    AND OMAR The Clueless PUTZ, did NOT Address Pitching. I waited with Baited Breath, as the Metspos GM, was to do SOMETHING of Meaning;

    Methinks JEFFY The Little S–t is looking for “ACTa 1″

  5. How come nobday mentions that Omar is flying under the radar?….totally invisable. Jerry can only use the players that were given to him.

  6. Other Items for Sale:

    Jeffy’s Brain(Highly Priced-Unused)

    “A Book Of Wise Sayings” by Gary Thorne;

    “A Book Of Rants” by Curt Schilling;

    Tim Mc Carver’s Brain(Highly Priced and Slightly Used);

    MEX Hair Coloring;

    Doc’s And Darryl’s Crack Vials;

    Ralph Kiner’s Blooper Reels(7 Volumes);

    Captain Craptastic’s Unused Condoms;

    Carl Everett’s Calming Formula;

    Tim Mc Carver’s Thesaurus;

    The Murph’s Cigarette Cartons;

    Nelson’s Jacket Supply;

    “This Place Dulls The Senses” by Doofus Joe “I’m NOT Interested” Buck;

    Martini Glass from The Diamond Club;

    Bobby Valentine’s Fake Glasses;

    Roger Clemens’ Blister;

    Roger Clemens’ Brain(Like a Toilet, Full Of Shit);

    Rey Ordonez Brain(Under-used)

  7. Don’t forget Carl Everett’s lifetime pass to the Museum of Natural History (Dem’ Dinosaurs is fake sheeeeeeeeeeet)

    the replica Lindsay Nelson sport coat that Jeffy wore for his bar mitzvah is a great item as well

  8. The Carl Everett Exhibit Pass for The Museum Of Natural History:

    Jeffy’s Lindsey Nelson Bar Mitzvah Suit;

    Tim Mc Carver’s New Book “Baseball For Assorted Intellectuals”, where George Washington crossed The BRONX River at Mount Vernon(Which is WHY his known as Mc Fullofshit);

    And that new book, recommended by Gary Thorne, written by Jason GiamBALCO, called “Vindicated”.

  9. Parnell pitched a SOLID 8th Inning, while Duaner Sanchez NEEDS an ankle hang from a Shea Stadium Upper Level Ramp.

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