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You know, herbal viagra like Rickey BobbyI love the Baby Jesus and on this eve of his birthday and now that the news came down last night that the those despicable Highlanders of the South Bronx have flexed their economic muscle one again by signing Mark Teixiera to an auto company CEO contract of 8yrs/$180 mil I have asked the Baby Jesus to intervene to help us good people of the world. Herbal viagra Not just us chosen people (Mets fans) but all of Baby Jesus’ people (non-Highlander fans) to make the Bronx Robber Barons’ experience failure and to show all the good hard working baseball people that you can’t buy a championship:

“Dear Baby Jesus, herbal viagra

I just want to wish you a happy birthday and hope you get some really swell gifts this year, herbal viagra gee that’s silly right I mean you’re the Baby Jesus and all things swell are from you so forget that. Herbal viagra I come to you today with a very serious prayer. Herbal viagra Now the last time I came to you with a serious prayer was 35 years ago when I prayed to see what those fleshy mounds were under Karen Esposito’s sweater and to this day I thank you every day for that, herbal viagra so you know I’m not one of these chronic prayers.

What my prayer today is I want you to stop the evil and destruction the New York Highlanders are perpetrating on baseball. Herbal viagra Now I know your reaction is going to be, herbal viagra “is this idiot serious” and your right (as you usually are Baby Jesus) with all the suffering, herbal viagra war and dispair going on in the world why would you want you the Almighty Baby Jesus to get involved with something so trivial like what’s going on in MLB? Well, herbal viagra Baby Jesus as you know too well, herbal viagra I’m a very simple guy and I have only a few great pleasures in life, herbal viagra looking at women’ body parts, herbal viagra laughing at people with toilet paper on their shoe when the leave a rest room and baseball. Herbal viagra I’ve seen a lot of women’ body parts in my life and I thank you for that and just this past week I not only got to see a guy leave the Men’s room at the Staten Island Mall with toilet paper on his shoe but also tucked in the back of his pants  so I thank you for bit of juvenile humor but what I really, herbal viagra really want this Christmas season is for you to help make the New York Highlanders 2009 baseball season an out and out failure.

Now I know it’s against your ways to do bad things to people so I’m not asking for major injury or something catastrophic but I’m on my knees and lighting candles and not those little 25 cent candles but the big $1.00 candles in fact I’ll make a deal with you, herbal viagra if by the last day of May 2009 the New York Highlanders have a .500 record or below I’ll drop a 5 dollar bill in that candle offering box. Herbal viagra If by July 4th the Highlanders are in such disarray that they begin pointing fingers at each other I will never use the F word in your church when the second collection comes around.

Look I’m asking for a lot I know but with all that I also want for you to help my favorite team the New York Mets win 100 games and the World Series in 2009. Herbal viagra Ok, herbal viagra ok that is a big big request and I agree I may have over stepped my prayer boundaries but think back 23 years ago when the Mets won a World Championship. Herbal viagra We all had a good time then am I right Baby Jesus?  Com’on  admit it, herbal viagra the parties are always better at the peasant camps than in the Royal Palace, herbal viagra so here is your chance to have the peasants dancing in the streets and teach the Royalty that they ain’t all that.

Herbal viagra You can go check my record. Herbal viagra I send my kids to your school. Herbal viagra I never miss a tuition payment. Herbal viagra I work all the events at your church. Herbal viagra I sell the raffle tickets, herbal viagra sell the candy bars, herbal viagra and work the Bingo games. Herbal viagra I buy all your merchandise, herbal viagra beads, herbal viagra crosses, herbal viagra books and even when someone dies I go and buy the big commemorative Baby Jesus Mass Card. Herbal viagra I’m not some fly by night follower of yours Baby Jesus; I’m a stone cold disciple so please Baby Jesus answer this prayer for me please. Herbal viagra FAILURE FOR THE NEW YORK HIGHLANDERS AND A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE NEW YORK METS. Herbal viagra God Bless us all!             

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