The Mets will sign either Derek Lowe or Oliver Perez

 

Uh oh, fifteen minutes to Judge Wapner. 

 

But they won’t try to sign them both

 

I’m an excellent driver. 

 

The Mets have no interest in signing Manny Ramirez 

 

Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway every Saturday. ‘Course the seats were originally brown leather now they’re a pitiful red.

 

Even though Omar loves Manny and supposedly has full autonomy over the baseball operation

 

It’s a 1949 Buick Roadmaster. Straight 8. Fireball 8. Only 8,985 production models. Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway. But not on Monday, definitely not on Monday. 

 

But Jeffey Skill Sets has the final say on all money spent

 

‘Course, three minutes to Wapner. 

 

The Mets have a dire need for a right handed bat in their line up

 

Uh oh fart. Uh oh fart. 

 

But they’re happy with a left field platoon of Dan Murphy and Fernando Tatis

 

Ten minutes to Wapner. We’re definitely locked in this box with no TV. 

 

But back to the pitching. Mets fans have been told that pitching is a priority but besides signing Frankie Rodriguez and trading for J J Putz, the starting rotation is in need of two more arms

 

 It’s definitely very small in here. 

 

I’m not excited about Tim Redding, are you?

 

 I don’t think so. No. Definitely not. 

 

And what about the second base situation, Gimp Castillio? PLEASE!!!!!

 

Serious injury book is a red book, that book is blue. 

 

You know I can’t get away from the pitching staff, I mean it’s great that the 8th and 9th inning is set but the rotation is awfully thin,  wouldn’t be worth the Mets while to try and sign both Lowe and Perez

 

Of course you can’t have pancakes without maple syrup. 

 

That’s what I’m saying, build a strong starting rotation to take the pressure off the bullpen.

 

Maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes. 

 

YES YES I see it the maple syrup is the starting pitchers and they get you to the back end  bullpen which is the pancakes or the main part of pitching staff I see I see

 

I like to drive slow on the driveway. 

 

Like the Lowe negotiations? Well it’s one thing to “drive slow” but maybe you can step on the accelerator and sign Derek Lowe.

 

Course driving your car on this interstate is very dangerous. 

 

Yeah but maybe it’s time to make a move here on Derek Lowe.

 

Yeah? 

 

Yeah, if you’re asking me yeah do it make the move sign Derek Lowe and Oliver Perez Got that? DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

  These are not boxer shorts. Mine are boxer shorts. These are Hanes 32. 

 

We’re fucked!!!!

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