What are the odds that the weather on opening day at $iti Field will be as fabulous as this past weekends? My son was ready to pack away his North Face jacket until next winter until I reminded him that we have tickets for opening day. The vast majority of opening days in Flushing were celebrated in frigid conditions although once every five or six years or so we’ve enjoy excellent spring weather. In fact I remember being at Shea for an opening day where it was down right hot, like mid 80’s hot, I’m thinking late 90’s it was. Oh well, two weeks to go before opening day and I don’t know about you but I’ve hit the spring training wall.

So let’s spin the Wheel of Minutia and see where it lands:

I was in midtown Manhattan most of the day on Saturday and while enjoying the sun and warm temps I stopped off at the NBA Store. While fighting the crowds of European Invaders (a/k/a tourists) I spotted this shirt and just could not resist buying it. I almost feel Highlander-like wearing this pretentious piece of 100 % cotton.

You know what’s wrong with this country (nope, I’m not going where you think I’m going)? There is more coverage over Tiger Woods banging porn stars and coming back to play in The Masters than the historic story being played out by the UCONN Women’s Basketball Team, who yesterday won their 73 Game in a row. I read the game story this morning in the NY Daily News in a two inch space on page 64. Jerry Bossert’s Kentucky Derby Rankings received about three inches on the top of the page and the results from some hayseed racetrack in East Cousinfuck received the rest of the page space. On the opposite page (65) there is an ad for a super sex drug that will have you tapping tail like Tiger. Some of the tag lines in the add are “will enhance your entire experience from beginning to toe curling end “ also it “reduces recovery time for your encore performance” ENCORE PERFORMANCE??????????? And the piece de resistance “Explosive results you’ll both enjoy” WHOA, is that a Roman Candle in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me”  

How can you not root for Nelly Figs? With him being regulated to “B” game status his days as a Met look short, so he has his sights set on Japan if he can’t hook up with a big league team.

It looks like Mike Jacobs will make the team as the25th man. If you think he should be the everyday first baseman, you’re out of your mind. In reading this great post by Patrick J Flood, he mentions the infield of Jacobs, Castillo and Cora in a recent spring training game. If that trio plays together in a regular season game, I’ll place Jerry Manuel under citizen’s arrest.

By the way Daniel Murphy, you are making my spring very difficult.

Like Lisa Swan, I’m watching The Apprentice for the sole fact that Darryl Strawberry is a contestant (by the way Brett Michaels your balls called and would like you to take them back.  Rock Star my ass! ) Last night the task for the two teams was to sell Kodak products. My first question was, who the fuck uses Kodak cameras any more? I thought the days if the Instamatic with that ice cube flash were over? Anyway, the team that Straw is on decided to use the celebrities to pose for pictures with New Yorkers, now I know they filmed this like last spring/summer how come this wasn’t publicized any place or a release given to bloggers to promote it? What a dumb ass you are Mr. Trump. Any way (part II, ) guess which uni top Strawberry wore for his picture taking? That’s right a snow white METS jersey with 18 STRAWBERRY !!!!!!! Kiss our ass Highlander fans! STRAW IS OURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Woody Johnson isn’t careful, John Mara may place him under the Meadowlands next to Jimmy Hoffa. Mara wants the Super Bowl badly and it looks like the Meadowlands will get it unless Woody keeps bitching and moaning about the G-Men wining the imaginary coin toss to play the first game at the new Giants Stadium. Woody you asshat, you should have built your own place on Long Island, the Meadowlands is still belongs to the Giants then, now and forever.

Mike Tyson is beginning filming of a new realty show for the Animal Planet channel in Brooklyn about racing pigeons. Growing up in Brooklyn, people with pigeon coops on the roofs of apartment houses were as common as clotheslines. It was fascinating watching trainers use a broom stick with an old white sheet attached to it and having the pigeons fly in the direction the trainer pointed to, in unison.  It seems PETA has a problem with the show and the racing of pigeons and are planning a protest. It’s one thing to throw paint on some over Botox-ed hags in fur coats on the Upper East Side but the PETA zealots should take my advise and don’t fuck with Brooklyn and it’s pigeons.

That’s right I have Cornell in the Sweet Sixteen in my brackets as Bill Raftery says “ONIONS!!!!!!” Also this website is PURE GOLD!!!! RISE AND FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How wrong was I about John Torterella? What a failure, but not as big a failure as the Late Slats Sather. The Rangers performance yesterday in Boston was a disgrace. The worst part of the Rangers playing uninspired hockey and tanking down the stretch, is that  odds are the Late Slats Sather will not be relieved of his duties. Ranger fans can only hope that the Late Slats Sather has an ounce of humility in his rigor mortis body and retires from running the Rangers. By the way Don Maloney’s Phoenix Coyotes are tied with the Blackhawks for first overall in the Western Conference. The same Coyotes who were bankrupt and looked to be headed back to Winipeg or Hamilton Ontario. If that’s not enough to make you cry, the team with the best record in the NHL, the Washington Captials is run by former Ranger George McPhee. Pass the Kleenex.

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