DEAR JEFFEY SKILL SETS, NO. I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR PEN PAL

Ok Jeffey, we get it you got some mad computer “skillz” and after years of being neglected it is nice of you to shoot off a message every other day but your missives of non-substance are coming as frequent as this guy from Africa, who claims if I send him my bank account number, Jesus Christ himself will show up at my front door and cook my Thanksgiving Day dinner. Just open a Twitter account like the rest of us will ya. I swear I’ll give you a #FF shout out.

Maybe I’m a little impatient but as much as I am enjoying the AL and NL Championship Series, at this point we all know that Sandy Alderson is getting the GM job so stop with the charade of second interviews name the man to the job and go use your skillz on the keyboard for more important activities like surfing for porn.

I don’t know when it will happen but it will happen sooner than later, Mike Francesa is going to have a Howard Beale moment on the air and will have to be shot with a tranquilizer gun to contain him. Today, a caller who identified himself as a Mets fan, (could have been AJ Burnett too) ranted on how bad Jorge Posada is behind the plate and has slipped at bat. Francesa was incensed that anyone, and a Mets fan no less, question he Jorgies offensive credential and became so flustered that he blurted out “Whozz da ketcher on da Mets who eveah got a big hit” The caller responded “Uhhhh Mike Piazza for one” Game, Set and Match Caller.

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In the eyes of a ranger, The unsuspected stranger Had better know the truth of wrong from right, ’cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you,

Happy Highlander Elimination Day to ya! I can’t wait to see Michael Kay’s head explode on the YUCK post game show if Bronx Bastards lose game five. I hope Joe Girardi studied that binder of his and found the page where it says, “when a suck ass pitcher like AJ Burnett gives you five innings, take it an run”

No Mets news today except for Frankie Rodriguez getting a mere $3mil deduction from his personal worth for his altercation and embarrassment of himself and of the Mets organization. Hopefully who ever takes the reigns of the baseball operations let’s K-Rod know his days as a Mets closer are done. Welcome to a setup role K-Rod.

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SANDY ALDERSON PART DEUX AND OTHER MINUTIA

How lucky are the NY Highlanders? If it weren’t for Ron Washington not going with his best relievers in Game 1, we could be seeing the Bronx Bastards down 2 games to none and facing Cliff Lee with AJ Burnett  going in a do or die Game 4? Oh well, I’ll be rooting hard for Cliff Lee to continue his magic and I’ll keep my Pete Broberg baseball card close by as well.

As the Phuck Phaces evened their series with the Giants, Phuck Phace Phans celebrated by acting like assholes by beating the shit out of each other. The disturbing part of the video is not the front running drunks acting the way front running drunks do, but check out the guy holding the little girl, now that’s a royal asshole.

Sandy Alderson will be back at $iti Field for a second interview, this time with Freddy Skill Sets and Uncle Saul. I guess Freddy wasn’t kidding about not having and office at $iti since Alderson was there last week and Freddy and Saul couldn’t meet with them then? Freddy and Uncle Saul should demand that Jeffey move all the beer cans and soda bottles he’s collected all season and cash in the nickels so they can have a bit of space for them to call home.

Ok, can we wave the “must interview a minority” rule with the Mets ? The Tigers refused the Mets request to meet with Asst. GM  Al Avila, who by the way has a good rep as a talent evaluator. If any team in baseball has gone above and beyond with minority hires it’s the NY Mets .

Looks as though the Mets and Francisco Rodriguez will avoid speaking to an arbitrator and will settle their contract differences between themselves.  Most likely outcome is Rodriguez will forfeit the cash owed while on restricted list for his full guaranteed contract and his back breaking team option in 2011. That option kicks in if Rodriguez finishes 55 games next season. Let’s see if the new man in charge has the stones tell K-Rod he’s not the closer anymore this way it will be easier to keep him above that 55 game landmark.

Oh I forget, Freddy’s Dead, not our Freddy but Freddy Sez of the Mall of the South Bronx fame. Freddy will be buried in a casket made by T-Fal and the Highlanders will wear frying pan patches on their uniforms. First the Voice of God, then the Bronx Robber Baron and now Freddy, will Freddy’s monument be made out of Teflon?

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THANKS FOR NOTHING TWINKIES

You know what? I’m glad Terry Ryan said he wasn’t interested in interviewing for the Mets GM job, I’d want nothing to do with anyone from the Minnesota Twins organization.  It’s one thing to lose a series to the Bronx Bastards but the Twinkies laid down like dogs. No fight whatsoever.

If your a Twins fan and what I’m saying here pisses you off and you say that my Mets suck , so who am I to call out a team for failure, remember this, the Mets at least split their six game this season with the Highlanders and there are only two teams the Pinstriped Pricks  fear the Mets and the Red Sox.

Oh so Phil Hughes is now a great pitcher after last night’s performance. As I said in the comments section to our resident Highlander contributor, Michael all Highlander fans were shitting themselves silly over their starting rotation and now after playing a team that gave up, they think they have three Cy Young candidates. They’ve all but forgotten their bastard child AJ Burnett, who will have to pitch in the ALCS  and kicked to the curb Javier Lopez, who is awaiting deportation to the National League.

Oh yeah I got my Highlander Hate on in full glory!!!!!

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Mets News and Views

Time again for Mets News and Views:

METS SET SIGHTS ON STARTING PITCHING

Music to my ears. I know most of you have a deep respect for wood a la Larry David, but without pitching you can have all the ash, maple and old hickory you want, you won’t win. Pitching wins period.

The top pitcher around that the Mets could get is Roy Halliday but the cost both player/prospect wise and money wise makes Halliday a dream that won’t come true. The next on the list is John Lackey, who is doable. Contract wise that is. If it takes an AJ Burnett 5yr/$82 mil deal to get Lackey here so be it. Sure he comes with a warning label as he hasn’t made over 30 starts in the last two seasons but the Mets are dessssssssssssperate for a #2 to Santana’s #1 and the they can piece together the rest of the rotation by adding two of the usual suspects from Jason Marquis, Joel Piniero, Randy Wolf, Jon Garland, and the coming off injuries, Ben Sheets, Erik Benard, and Noah Lowry, and my trade up specials Aaron Harang, Bronson Arroyo and Gil Meche to go with Mike Pelfrey as the 4th or 5th starter then and only then will progress be made in Flushing.

By the way I agree with this from Mack’s Mets to make John Maine the 8th inning set up man to Frankie Rodz and I would also make Ollie P a reliever as well and have Bobby Parnell and Perpetual Pedro Feliciano as my 7th inning mix and match set and throw Sean Green in for shits and giggles.

Nothing gets accomplished here until the pitching is squared away.

“WHAT THEY ACTUALLY LIKE THAT BLUE AND ORANGE STUFF”?

Can’t you just imagine, Jeffey Skill Set saying that? How out of touch can you be about your fan base and the history of the close to <places right pinky to right corner of mouth> $1 billion dollar baseball franchise he and his family own?

The Skill Sets had to be hit over the head by their fan base to paint the walls blue and orange, add a Mets Hall of Fame that even the great unwashed can gain entrance to, and go back to the uniform that the vast majority of Mets fans revere.

METS-MARLINS IN SAN JUAN, WHO NEEDS TWO?

So MLB wants the Mets and Marlins to play a series in San Juan which would be taken from the Marlins home schedule. Now how does this help the Marlins? The only time they get big crowds at Your Name Here Stadium is when the Mets come to town, plus with the construction of a new ball park shouldn’t the Marlins be trying build a better relationship with their fan base so they fill the new place once it’s up? The weird thing about the Marlins fans is they support the team very heavily through TV and Radio so maybe it doesn’t matter if they play in San Juan or San Quentin.

Also in this story there is a blurb about the Mets looking at signing Jack Cust. Hopefully it’s for a bartender’s job at the Acela Club.

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OMAR NEEDS TO GO GLENGARY ON LOWE/BORAS

{A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention – Do I have you attention? Interest – Are you interested? I know you are, because it’s fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision – Have you made your decision for Christ? And Action. 


 A-I-D-A. Get out there – you got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don’t walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They’re sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?} 

Blake from Glengarry Glennross.

You could change the name to Omar from the NY Mets as it pertains to the Derek Lowe/Scott Borras negotiations.  So it seems that Lowe/Borras are not very happy with the 3yr/$36mil contract the Mets have offered but to me it’s more years and more money that anyone else has put on the table. In fact Lowe has stated he wants AJ Burnett money but the problem with that the only team offering stupid money is the Highlanders and they don’t seem to want Lowe or maybe they do but not at the stupid money price of $16mil per.

According to Boras, the Phillies and Braves are in the running for Lowe’ services. If the Mets played in the AL East Boras would tell us the Highlanders and Red Sox were serious bidders. If the Mets played in the Middle East Baseball League, Borras would tell us the Israeli’s and the Palestinians are serious bidders.

Oh of course there is the “Mystery Team” that may be the Milwaukee Brewers but of all those teams mentioned only the Mets have made an offer. So my question to Scott Boras is “Where are the fucking leads”?

If any team wants to give Lowe  4yr/$64mil go right ahead and as much as I wanted Lowe on the Mets there is no way in hell I’d give him that deal. In fact if I’m the Mets GM I say here is 3yr/$42mil then I’d flip over a three minute egg timer and tell Lowe/Borras that when that timer goes off so does my offer.

Derek Lowe wants $16mil a year for four years and I want to brush my hair out of my eyes. Neither one is happening.

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LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM YOU CAN’T IGNORE AARON HEILMAN

Great piece of writing by Howard Megdal in the New York Observer on making a case for putting Aaron Heilman into the starting rotation something I’ve advocated for the past two years. It’s so chi-chi for Mets fans to bash Heilman for his failures as a reliever and I’m not saying that it was unwarranted especially last year while I’m a Heilman fan he disappointed me greatly by not stepping up to grab the closer role when Billy Wags went down but maybe it was a bum knee or just that his mind set is always a starting pitcher mentality-and please don’t give me the horse shit refrain that he makes x ammount of money and should be grateful to be in baseball bromide that I am so sick of hearing, think about this on your job if your boss saw you cleaning up your work area and said “wow your so good at cleaning here’s a mop and do the bathroom” how would you react (me, I’d use the mop handle on him like it was a rectal thermometer)-Heilman lost out on a rotation spot in 2006 to Brian Bannister not because Bannister beat him out but due to the Mets wanting to keep both pitchers and with Heilman already in the bullpen the logic was to keep him there.

Think of how many rag armed pitchers have stepped on the Shea mound over Heilman and none of them with anything close to the talent of Heilman and I’m surprised he kept quiet this long.

As Megdal points out the free agent market for starting pitching will be insane especially if CC Sabathia stays true to his word and plays on the West Coast, the Highlanders and Red Sox will throw money around like they were hedge fund managers. I’m sure Sabathia will be getting phone or text messages from Derek Lowe, AJ Burnett and Ollie Perez to please take that Angels offer so they can’t become filthy rich.

So what would be so bad with keeping Heilman and Niese in the 4-5 spots and taking a flyer on Freddie Garcia or signing Jon Garland and spending that money saved on a payout or sweetener in trading Gimp Castillo and signing Orlando Hudson?

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FRIDAY MORNING RANT FEST

It has got to be tough for the main streamers who cover baseball as this is a limbo period of the hot stove where it’s rumor after rumor (some of them made up just to fill up media space and time) because it will be one more week before teams can make contract offers to free agents. So while we wait the baseball owners to stimulate the economy there are some very interesting article on the web such as:

 

Paul Greco at Gotham Baseball has a great overview of Mets and Highlander prospect playing in the AFL. Reading the scouting reports on some of our prospects in the league there it looks more and more that the demise of the Mets farm system has been greatly exaggerated. I was upset over the thumbs down from the scouts that Eddie Kunz received as he has had an uneven performance so far in the AFL. I watch Kunz pitch in Brooklyn and his pedigree as a top collegiate closer made me think he’d emerge a lot faster as a viable pitcher in the bullpen especially with the fact that he throws a good sinking fastball that you’d think would translate into ground ball outs. I’m not ready to give up on Kunz yet and hopefully neither are the Mets. As we learn with Big Pelf, you need patients sometimes with young arms.

   

So far the Highlander will sign every single free agent on the market and will go into the season with a 1.4 trillion dollar payroll. Not only will they sign CC Sabathia to 10yr/$200mil contract but they will give Manny Ramirez 4 yr/$190 mil deal and then sign Derek Lowe, AJ Burnett and Ryan Dempster to $100 mil deals each. Then Pack A Day Hank will buy the San Diego Padres franchise just to get Jake Peavy. He will then sell the Padres to Mark Cuban (because he can’t buy the Cubs) at discount as Cuban agrees to let the YES Network televise  Dallas Mavericks  games so this way the NY/NJ/Brooklyn Nets can go to public access TV. Hank will then remove all of brother Hal’s vital organs to sell to pay for Mark Texiera’s 20 yr/$500 mil deal. And with all that the Highlander will finish no higher than third place in 2009.

 

Daniel Murphy is REAL and he is SPECTACULAR.

 

Murray Chass is a cranky old bastard who hates bloggers but I am trying to follow President-Elect Obama’s message of reaching over the aisle for unity (just like when I saw the Pope and had a feeling of calm and patients and understanding like I do now with the Obama Presidency this won’t last long because people will continue to piss me off like the assholes who walk along the subway platform with those ridiculous fucking backpacks on wheels that people trip over daily. What the fuck are you carrying around that you need a backpack on wheels? There’s something wrong with you mentally if you are toting around some much unwanted shit that you can’t carry it on your shoulder but have to wheel it around and to the woman who took exception to me kicking her wheelie-backpack this morning at the Staten Island Ferry terminal, I’ll be on that 7AM boat again on Monday so bring your husband, son, grand son and other person you like and make sure they bring their wheelie backpacks too so I can kick them all the way to Whitehall Terminal. Man did I take the long way to link this Murray Chass column sorry for that marathon rant.)    Chass writes about George W Bush wanting the Baseball Commissioners job badly but The Used Car Salesman, while denying it while he relocated the office from Manhattan to Milwaukee grab the job. One more reason to despise Bud.

 

I like that Omar is headstrong on adding pitching which is where his priority should be but do you get the same feeling I get that Omar is lying in the weeds when it comes to Manny Ramirez? I could see a scenario where Omar waits to see what the offers are and goes to the Skill Sets asking permission to match or better the offer. If its 4years or more Omar will pass but it it’s 3 yrs I could see him offering up 3yr/ close to 90mil with incentives and some creative bookkeeping. 

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Tickets

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