Some fellas look at the eyes
Some fellas look at the nose
Some fellas look at the size
Some fellas look at the clothes
I don’t care if her eyes are red
I don’t care if her nose is long
I don’t care if she’s underfed
I don’t care if her clothes are worn
First I look at the purse!

J.Geils Band

I should be a happy Mets fan this morning, with the news that Jason Bay will sign up to man left field for my favorite baseball team. What’s not to like about Bay ? Big time power hitter from the right side of the plate, he stepped in to a situation in Boston, as crazy a baseball town as NYC and he took the place of one of the greatest right handed hitters to ever pick up a bat in Manny Ramirez and excelled. I was  at Fenway Park for Bay’s first game as a Red Sox and his hitting and attitude won over the hearts of Royal Rooters that weekend.  So why am I not on the phone pleading with the Mets ticket office to please, PLEASE, sell me a season ticket, I don’t care if a handrail or giant piece of Plexiglas impairs my vision of the field, I JUST WANT TO BE AT $ITI FIELD IN 2010!!!!!!!!!!   Well, because Jason Bay can’t pitch.

It’s not just that Bay is not a pitcher and the Mets need about three starting pitchers to even think of contending for an NL Pennant , I still look at the Mets as Bay’s last resort.  You have to feel, the Red Sox were his first choice to re-enlist with and his agent made a 4yr/$60mil offer to which Theo Epstein said “Do I know you”? That’s Cold Hearted Theo, “Come back when you settle for as 2yr plus and option and maybe I’ll dance with you”. The Highlanders would seem to be choice two, put it seems that the heirs to the Highlander fortune, Hal and Hank A/K/A The Fortunate Son’s, feel as though we won the World Series so now it’s time for us to set up our bank accounts because there will be a mucho disposable dinero flowing in the Bronx this summer and the Fortunate Sons want to bring back Bags O Cash to their Tampa lair. Then there is the Seattle Mariners ,which for Bay would have worked out the best for the Boy from BC.  Mrs. Bay is from the Pacific Northwest so the thought of playing house close to where he grew up with many millions in his pocket had to be very pleasing to the Bay’s. Problem is new Mariners GM Jack Z felt, sure we’d love to have you here but not for some ridiculous sum of $16 mil a year. Instead Jack Z went for bat shit crazy Milton Bradley who came to the Emerald City with his pockets full of cash, letting the M’s save money for something important like pitching. Did you know that Jack Z was once part of the Mets front office?

So the way I look at it, Jason Bay had no other choice but to play for the Mets. But I still feel the Mets were that last fat kid picked when you would choose up sides in the school yard. I just hope that at the Bay presser he doesn’t start waxing poetic about being back in the Mets organization ,in fact I’d have a better appreciation for Bay if he didn’t have a presser but I’m sure Jeffey and Jay Horowitz are at King Kullen right now ordering the cold cuts.

Look you have to give Omar his props as he obtained a power hitting corner outfielder at his terms. For all the venom tossed at Omar’s way this winter once in a while you can give him a pat on the back. Beisdes, Jeffey Skill Sets and Dave The Shyster would just the money on a house in the Hamptons.

Now is not the time for the Mets front office to take any bows, there work is far from done. Now try to make a deal with the Reds and Royals for Aaron Harang, Bronson Arroyo or Gil Meche . Get two of those three and I’ll bring a marble rye to the presser.  

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