MY TEAM WENT TO PUETRO RICO, AND ALL THEY BROUGHT BACK WAS LOUSY BASEBALL

Is it over yet? Last night’s game will not be in the rotation of Mets Classics on SNY, between the rain delay, Big Pelf’s throwing batting practice, Jose Reyes and Angel Pagan forced out of the lineup with injuries, and Gary Cohen admitting in public he was a fan the Mama’s and the Papas, the only reason to keep watching the game telecast was to see if Keith Hernandez’ head would explode.

I can’t wait for Saturday’s Mets-Nationals game with the most bizarre pitching match up I ‘ve ever seen. R.A. Dickey for the Mets vs. The Sensational Strasburg. Just think, you could add up the velocity of three of Dickey’s pitches and that total is still lower than one Strasburg fastball. The only drawback to the game is it’s on FOX, so I’m guessing we get stuck with Doofus Joe and Tim McFullofshit UGH!!!!!

Sam Page has a great post on Amazin’ Avenue on what is a fair trade for Cliff Lee. When you look it over the Mets do have the chips to pull this off without giving up Jenry Mejia. I would hate to lose Reese Havens in a deal as well but if a package of Fernando Martinez, Josh Thole, Nick Evans and Eric Niessen brings Cliff Lee to the Mets, it’s a steal, even if Lee leaves after the season as a free agent. Ike, Niese, Mejia and Wilmer Flores would be untouchables, Mark Cohoon too, so anyone else is fair game to get dealt for a pitcher of Lee’s pedigree.

Leonard Davis of the Syracuse Chiefs was the prick who took out Daniel Murphy at second base to break up a double play that put Murph out of action for the season with a knee injury. The play was a scumbag move by Davis. Tues day night the Bison met the Chiefs and Dillon Gee was on the mound and had a 4-0 lead when Davis came up to bat. Gee proceeded to drill Davis in the back with a pitch as payback for the take out of Murphy. I hope Dillon Gee is a Met forever!

The Phuck Phaces are getting hit hard by injuries. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

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“HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR BLADES”?

If you are a fan of college football and are in favor of a playoff system instead of the ridiculous BCS bullshit rankings then you have two things going in your favor, the NHL Winter Classic and MLB Network because after what used to be college football’s showcase day New Years Day is dominated with news of the Blackhawks-Red Wings game at Wrigley Field and the launch of MLB Network.

The only drawback last night for the debut of MLBN was the mug of the Nutty Professor on the screen at 6PM. The 30 second countdown, a montage of players with the numbers 30 (Nolan Ryan) to 1 (Ozzie Smith) was great with the exception of number 3 (Evan Longoria) how could it not be the Bambino? The Hot Stove Show was terrific (even with Rosalita Leiter on the dais and a cameo by Jimmy Rollins) Harold Reynolds was close to Dickie V like in his enthusiasm and Victor Rojas (Cookie’s kid) looked very comfortable as a host. You can see that MLBN come spring training will be destination TV and every night during the season as the network has cameras at all 30 ball parks so post game interviews with players and a mangers will be plentiful. 

Watching the Larsen Perfect Game was a late Christmas/New Year’s treat but it took a bit to get used to. No centerfield camera in those days and no replays were the biggies for me. One part of the telecast that should still be implemented in today’s game telecast was the lack of crowd shots. The camera was focused on the field the whole game making for a more enjoyable watch.  Big contrast in pitching styles by Sal Maglie and Don Larsen. Maglie had that windmill windup that was popular back then but Larsen had more of a step and throw approach and no real wind up. Both teams seemed to have issues with home plate ump Babe Parrelli’s strike zone.  When 28 year old Vin Scully was on the screen the first thing I thought of was how he looked just like Conan O’Brien. No chatter between pitches by either Scully or Mel Allen. Talk about a game of inches, Sandy Amoros and Duke Snyder just missing home runs to right field could have altered history.  Also Mickey Mantle with a running catch in left center and notice the 457 sign in that gap at Old Highlander Stadium. Also the monuments in centerfield and the scoreboard on the left field wall.  For the most part, the batters stayed in the batter’s box between pitches but I thought Larsen was like the Steve Trachsel of his day in his very deliberate way he worked.

The interviews with Yogi and Larsen by Bob Costas were good although I think I’m Yogi-ed out by now with all his Yogi-isims and the fact that Berra has slowed down a lot and maybe it’s time he stopped giving interviews. Larsen seemed a little embarrassed when Costas went over the litany of Hall of Famers that were on hand that day as if to say if it weren’t for this perfecto Larsen would have drifted in to obscurity. It was surprising that Larsen admitted he didn’t realize he pitched a perfect game but then it was brought out that the last perfect game in baseball was over 30 years before this one.

I loved the ads and I nearly fell off the sofa when I saw that pocket size Baseball Encyclopedia that came with the Gillette razor because I have a copy of it. When my mother was moving and I was cleaning out her apartment I found it in a draw and I never knew whose it was or where it came from. After seeing the ad I have to figure it was my father’s as he always used a Gillette razor and blades. That makes the book even more special now.

MLBN is running the Larsen Perfect Game all day today but I guess starting next week there will be more diverse programming but either way MLBN is on my favorites list.

     

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RANDOM ACT OF POSTING

With the World Series a day away from starting MLB invokes its gag order on the other 28 teams so as the spotlight can be shown on baseball’s showcase event. If your FOX this match up is a nightmare as neither team has a national following and most of the local yokels who claim to be long suffering fans of both teams are really bandwagoners but if you are a die hard baseball fan and put aside your allegiance to your favorite team and check your hatred for the NL champs at the door (Even if your a fan of the Highlanders and the Old Town Team, you can’t hate the Famous Rays as they helped pad your win totals for years so let them enjoy some national face time, besides most of the Famous Rays are future Mets, Highlanders or Red Sox anyway) this series has the makings of a great one.

 

Both teams are on a roll, both have excellent bullpens, both have engaging managers and both teams love to hit the long ball. The only draw back to this series besides not having our beloved Metropolitans in it is, FOX is televising it and that means Tim Mc Fullofshit and Doofus Joe Buck both of which are having a horrible post season. To make things worse FOX’ game telecast will give you motion sickness because their production team either hates sports or hates sports fans because after every pitch they cut to the stands, then the mangers, then the pitcher, then the batter, then back to the fans in the stands, then to the pitcher making the pitch an if the ball is not in play the repeat the sequence again. By the 5th inning you’re searching for your Mr. Met Puke Bucket that you thought you were finished with after the last J-Man pitching change of the season.

 

With all that I like the Famous Rays in 6. The Famous Rays have met each and every challenge this season whether it was going into to Fenway to take two of three during the season to hold on to first place or overcoming the Game 5 collapse and Game 6 loss to win the AL Pennant this team is now officially battle tested. As for the Phillies, Fuck them. 

 

Instead of tipping $100 bucks as the titie bar where Joba Chamberlain got his groove on the other night, he should have paid one of his buddies to be the designated driver plus get him a lap dance although you have to wonder the talent caliber in a Nebraska titie bar.

 

Here we have Mr. Sodom and Mr. Gomorrah meeting to work out a partnership to poison their fans with Mad Cow burgers, beak & toe Chicken Fingers and Snout Sausage.

 

Again the Mets are missing out on a great opportunity to add an edge to the organization if they don’t reach out Larry Bowa for their third base coaching job.

 

Sean Avery added spice to a very bad hockey game last night as the dull as dish water Rangers lost 2-1 to a Stars team that has given up goals by the ton so far this season but of course the Rangers or as they are known “The Wide of the Net Rangers” couldn’t hit the ocean with a puck off a pier again last night.  Avery talked shit to back up goalie Steve Valiquette during warm-ups and to King Henrik during the game. Brandon Dubinsky skated over to Avery to get him to move on and later in the game Avery was leveled by Dan Giradi and Paul Mara. The Garden Faithful let Avery know he is no longer a favorite of theirs as well. I read this today that Avery and MSG Networks John Gianone got into a very nasty altercation outside the Ranger locker room but Avery was his charming self when he was interviewed by the Maven after the game. I will say this about the on air staff of MSG especially Al Trautwig who has been talking non stop bullshit about Avery since Saturday night but when Avery was a Ranger and doing his ball breaking routine no one on the network had a discouraging word about the Avery Antics but now that he’s not a Ranger anymore he’s a prick with ears.

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