The Chickens Come Home To Roost

 

Some quick thoughts on the Mets :

Got to give Jon Ruach a break last night on that home run to Eric Chanvez. He got ahead two strikes and then threw a good waste pitch up and away but Chavez got his hands up and hit the opposite way for the game winning home run. It’s a tired cliché but never the less sometimes you have to give the hitter credit.

How about Tim McFullofshit saying that last year that wouldn’t have been a home run in Citi Field because the foul pole is in a different spot. Add that to his inability to pronounce Kirk Nieuwenhuis name properly  he called him Nieuwen-house, Nieuwen-hurs and Nieuwen-hiss.

I don’t think there is a fan base in all of baseball that enjoys having their team play on a National broadcast. Every fan has that “ah fuck” moment whenever they hear “Hi I’m Joe this is Tim” from the Fox broadcast booth. What’s a bit different this year is Joe Buck has been cured of his vocal cord aliment but now suffers from a chronic case of Can’t Shut The Fuck Up. Oh a great move by bringing in Charlie Sheen and Todd Zelie to the booth. Here’s all you need to know about Charlie Sheen his own father can’t stand him.

While most on Twitter were killing Terry Collins about his bullpen strategy last night, we weren’t privy to the news that El Pollo Loco had hurt himself in warmups, thus leaving the club with 5 relievers and it seems that the combo of Bobby Parnell and Tim Byrdak would share the closing role last night. It also answers why Chris Young stayed in the game after walking Teixeria and Special Ed Swisher but TC pressed his luck with Young facing Ibanez.

So far all season no one has said anything good or bad about the right field play of Lucas Duda but last night he misplayed Swisher’s fly ball into a double the critics come out in full force. Bunch of assholes

Go get ‘em Dickster.

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A TEAM THAT INFURIATES ME MORE THAN THE METS?

Every morning I check my e mail and Twitter hoping there is some kind of Mets news to read about and to discuss, today I’m hoping all is quiet on the Flushing Front because I am exhausted from yesterday even though I didn’t do a damn thing but watch TV.  

One of the best features of having FiOS is the NFL Red Zone Channel. You get live cut ins of every NFL games without commercial interruption and when your team is playing on Sunday or Monday night, Red Zone is wonderful. I watched most of Patriots-Redskins (Tom Brady is totally frustrated that the Pat defense is so bad he has turned into an Arena Football League QB having to put up a zillion points to win a football game) and then switched over to Ch 5 to watch Tebow Time (I get that a lot of people are turned off by the religious zealotry of Tebow as people like that get on my nerves as well, but you have to put that aside when looking at this guy. The most over used phrase in sports in “he’s a winner” but the fact is Tebow is a winner. He’s won at every level of football he’s played including QBing two National Championship teams and he’s won a Heisman Trophy.  I get that he is as inaccurate a passer as the local weatherman with a winter forecast but he does make big plays when it’s needed and his teammates believe he makes them and the team better. That’s all that counts. )

After all that I was still waiting for the main event of the evening, Giants-Cowboys. I was totally pissed off that this game wasn’t the 4PM FOX game as I wanted to watch the finale of Boardwalk Empire. I would have put up with the insufferable team of Joe Buck and Troy Akiman just to find out what happens to Nucky Thompson and Jimmy Darmondy. Giants-Cowboys took precedent over the illegal activities in Atlantic City.     

As much as the Mets put me through the ringer, the angst they’ve given me over the last couple of season can’t compare to the love/hate I have for the NY Football Giants of the last couple of years.

I don’t think there is a player or coach on this Giants team I haven’t shouted profanities at my TV at this season? Head Coach Tom Coughlin annoys the living shit out of me with all his reactionary faces to every single play. No one gets more “YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING FIRED” rants than Offensive Coordinator Kevin Gilbride (a Jets fan buddy and I got into a heated discussion over lunch on whose team has the worst OC my Giants with Gilbride or his Jets with “That asshole Shotty”) I cannot stand Brandon Jacobs (not as much as a despised Jeremy Shockey and Palxico Burress when they were G-Men) and there are many times where Eli Manning goes from looking like Johnny Unitas and then like Dave Brown but I never curse at Eli, I  like Eli a lot to the point I feel right now he’s the best quarterback in the history of the New York Giants.  That brings me to last night’s Giants-Cowgirls game.

As I’m watching this game I went over in my head how much I hate the Dallas Cowgirls. Then I started thinking what opposing team of my favorite teams do I hate the most? I ran through all the teams I root for Mets, Giants, NY Rangers, Boston Celtics and the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame and came up with this list:

Los Angeles Lakers

Philadelphia Flyers

Dallas Cowboys

Philadelphia Eagles

USC

Philadelphia Phillies

 I put the Lakers first on the list because in this modern day of teams fraternizing and always hugging and laughing with each other, when the C’s meet up with the Fakers there is true unadulterated hate between them. These are the two greatest organizations in the history of the NBA  and neither would piss on the other if they were on fire. I love that.

I guess it goes back to 1974 when the Flyers beat the Rangers in the playoffs and the whole Broad Street Bullies era took off. To this day Bobby Clarke is the opposing player I hate to most.

The Cowboys? Jimmy Jones, the whole stupid star at mid-field, Americas Team my ass

The hate for the Iggles is a family hand me down. My father never got over Chuck Bednarik’ hit on Frank Gifford.

Still remember how upset my old man was after the Anthony Davis game when USC came back to beat Notre Dame that sealed the end of the Ara Paseghian era at South Bend.

Now when it comes to the Mets it’s hard to find a real rival. When the Mets were good in the 80’s the rivals were the Cubs, Pirates, Cardinals. Then it was the Braves and lately the Phillies but there has never been that one team with a long history of a rival with the Mets. I never looked at the Highlanders as a Mets rival but more of a neighbor I just ignore.

I was ready to bail from the Giants game right after the Tony Romo 50 yard TD pass to Dez Bryant that put the Cowgirls up 34-22 with like 4 minutes left in the game. I was thisclose to clicking the DVR for Boardwalk Empire but I was just to numb to change the channel. I just kept thinking “well, as bad as this loss is at least there will be a house cleaning of the coaching staff and the Chin will take over” next thing I see Eli marching his team down the field, shredding a Cowgirls  secondary and going to TE Jake Ballard who looked like Gulliver to the Dallas Lilliput DB’s for a TD that brought the Giants to within 5 of the Cowgirls with just 3 minutes and change left in the game. Unfortunately the Giants had to go back on defense. I have no faith in the D which really really bothers me because the Giants have always been known for their D-Fence. Miraculously the D steps up at the most crucial time in this game, well mostly Jason Pierre-Paul and Chirs Canty did the steppin’ and the Cowgirls had to give Eli back the ball.

For all the hype that Tim Tebow gets, Eli Manning is becoming one the best QB’s in pressure situations in all of football. Manning would not disappoint leading the Giants to a game winning TD drive. Does K Gilbride ever get it through his head that Eli in the no-huddle is as good as brother Peyton in these situations? Give Eli the keys to the offense and sit back and look like a genius why don’t ya.

Of course even after the Jacobs TD this game wasn’t over not until JPP says it’s over with his huge block of a last minute Dallas attempt of a game winning field goal. The NY Football Giants are in 1st place in the NFC East and control their fate to get to the post season. All this happened in a matter of minutes.

PHEWWwwwwwwwwwwwww! I’m exhausted time to get to bed. Or so I thought. My wife tells me “you have to watch Boardwalk Empire, you won’t believe what happened” Aw shit, I’m now I have to sacrifice another hour of sleep. It was well worth it, I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen yet but HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!

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PLEASE, PUT INTER-LEAGUE OUT OF IT’S MISERY, AND MINE

I love Big Pelf and I know he will reach the next level as an elite starting pitcher which is why all the talk for Omar to sell the farm for an arm is nuts.  D-Wright also believes Big Pelf is the 1A starter to compliment Johan Santana and that’s why Wright got in the big guys grill last night to let him know that 5 2/3 innings are not acceptable any more. The question I wanted answered from yesterday’s posting where I wanted Doofus Joe Buck to get me some answers was answered last night by Wright (David if you read this blog I’m serious lunch at Katz’s Deli is on me if you let me interview you. I’ll splurge for a hot dog and a pastrami sandwich) as he is not intimated by the Latin Kings of Queens and is taking on more of a voice in the clubhouse. Muy Bien David.

Love this quote from Johan Santana on The Jacket acting like a yenta on the radio talking about Johan’s knee:

 “How did he know that my knee hurts?” Santana said before last night’s interleague series opener with the Orioles. “That’s the question that I have. You guys tell me, how did he find that out?  Because it is crazy. Not even the trainers know. Not even me. I didn’t know my knee hurts. Just put it that way.”

Okay, I’m convinced his knee is fine.

Dave Cameron at FAN GRAPHS did an analysis of Johan’s velocity this season and it seems it’s not the factor we are to believe it to be

The announced attendance at Camden Yards last night was 20, 626 but it looked as if there were maybe 15,000 ass’ in seats and of those 15K half were Mets fans.  Inter league play has reached it’s expiration date let it die a natural death.

 

Joel Sherman is 1000 % right that when you compare former Highlander and all around piece of shit Mel Hall being convicted of sexually assaulting a 12 yr old girl and Sammy Sosa’ name coming out on a list of positive test for steroids  it’s incredible there is more angst toward Sosa that a child molester. People need to get a grip.

Can we just release this fucking list of the dopers and get all the hand wringing and chest banging out of the way? Yes we know the era of the mid 90’s to 2003 will be known as the Steroid era and we all know the moralists out there who have never ever done anything to gain an edge on an opponent or co-worker are all up in arms. I know I’m supposed to get all hot and bother by players “cheating” (I still can’t figure that one out) but I’m not so can get move the fuck on already.

Ben Shpiel spoke with J-Man on the one year anniversary of Willie Randolph and the 3 AM Rub Out and Manuel taking over the Mets.  I like Warlord Jerry but he does some things that irks me like talking out his ass when it comes to Murphy and Church and the fact that this team is fundamentally retard when it comes to playing baseball is his responsibility and he never takes it, I like the job he has done so far in his year as skipper but I feel that anything short of an NL Pennant he will be relieved of his duties as I can see the wheels in motion for Bobby V the Sequel in 2010.

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LET’S ALL WAVE GOOD-BYE TO DOOFUS JOE BUCK’S CAREER

I totally forgot that Doofus Joe Buck was debuting his new show on HBO last night. But as I was channel surfing I found it just in time to see our boy D-Wright and Doofus Joe sit down for an interview. I guess all I missed was the riveting Brett Farve interview but that’s fine as I’ve heard and seen enough of the overrated  hillbilly QB who it seems will not leave football until he is seriously injured but I digress.

 

Wright and Doofus Joe went over the same old bullshit of how it is so tough to be a pro ball player in NY with all the media and the fans and blah, blah, blah Wright even mentioned the blogs,( if you are reading this David well thank you let’s do lunch? Me and you at Katz’s Deli the Brisket and Dr.Browns are on me e mail me at sinymets@aol.com  ). No questions on how the Mets change the fact that they are known for choking and indifferent play. No questions on how the clubhouse differs from the tight assed Willie Randolph to Cool Jazz Jerry? No questions about if Wright the face of the franchise has been briefed on organizational moves as he was with the Sheffield signing. No questions on whether Wright, in a clubhouse that has a heavy Latin influence feels respected or is he intimated?  In other words, another puff piece. There were forced moments like two guys coming up to Wright on the street asking for an autograph (they were the only two guys on the Manhattan street in what looked like the middle of the afternoon go figure!) then the all time staged moment when some asshole in a Phillies jersey comes by the restaurant window and bangs on it to point to his shirt and make a motion of a ring on his finger. A real low rent move but then it’s Doofus Joe what do expect.

 

The highlight of the evening though and what amounts to the biggest payback for guys like me who despise Doofus Joe Buck was when he did a segment with actor Paul Rudd, some unfunny fuck from SNL, and the Great Artie Lang.  You must check out this clip and this clip to hear Lang being his vile and nasty self. Doofus Joe couldn’t be more uncomfortable if his balls had a rash. Lang, a New York Football Giants fan telling Michael Irvin (who was also on the show and in the audience for this segment) that the Cowboys suck was a scream. It’s such a shame Lang is a Highlander fan which is worse than being a heroin junkie.

 

So now Rick Peterson is working with Scott Kazmir in Tampa to help him correct flaws in his mechanics that Peterson feels is causing him the physical  problems haunting him this season. So much for the bullshit propaganda from the Skill Sets that Peterson and Kazmir couldn’t get along. Adn the Skill Sets are pissed that Peterson claims he’s hearing that Johan is having difficulty with the knee that was operated on last winter. How dare someone tell the truth!!!!!

 

As much as having Bobby Valentine manage the Highlanders would sadden me, the prospect of Valentine managing the Nationals, scares the shit out of me.

 

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SO WHO IS TO BLAME FOR THIS SATURDAY BLACK OUT?

Due to a rap concert after the game Saturday, the Marlins decided for some reason to start that nights game at 6PM instead of 7PM why? Beats the shit out of me as I’m sure the Gang Bangers that want to hear Flo-Rida rap out “LOW” (luv them Apple Bottom Jeans girlfriend) don’t mind staying up a little later on a Saturday night so if I’m going rip anyone a new asshole over this it’s has to be the Florida Marlins  and that little stooge David Samson.

I won’t let the Skill Sets off easy either as they should be using their muscle in getting the Used Car Salesman to force the Fish into changing the time of the game.

I’d kill FOX but that’s a lost cause as any company that thinks having Doofus Joe Buck and Tim Mc Fullofshit as it’s lead team is beyond help

You know what makes this even worse, and you all know I’m right, this would never ever happen to the team in the Bronx. I’m no fan of the Bronx Robber Baron but he would have put a foot up someones ass over this.

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SUPER BOWL-SUPER BONG-SUPER MAN AND SUPER AGENT

Observations on last nights Super Bowl:

 

I am so happy I didn’t waste a minute of my time watching the pre game show, it’s bad enough I turn the game on at 6PM to get more Bob Costas than my daily requirement of self-important blow hards. Someday a head of a TV network will realize what a waste of money these pre game shows are in this day and age of instant information just like FOX figured out the money they save on Aqua Net for Jeanie Zelasko could be put to better use like getting Doofus Joe Buck a personality.

 

By the time the fourth quarter rolled around and the game looking like a Steelers lock, and the continued parade of commercial after commercial just killing the flow of the game I was ready to call Michael Phelps to come over with his Aqua Lung Bong. How about poor old Flipper getting outed while going one toke over the line? My God what’s’ next? Sully doing an “8-ball”?

 

Hey Rodney Harrison, I just spoke to David Tyree; he sends his regards and wants to know how his ass tastes.

 

WOHA! When did Brenda Warner get the Hollywood makeover? Da-am-n!!!!

 

Besides the Steelers and the Rooney family last night’s biggest winners were Al Michaels and John Madden, especially Madden who was totally on his game last night and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band who made me for the first time ever watching Super Bowls wanting halftime to last longer.

 

Rumors are running rampant through the ‘net that Scott Boras is in NYC to meet with the Omar about OP and Manny. There is no substance to these rumors but it looks like OP names on a contract is a foregone conclusion and with Manny still out there, there is still a scintilla of hope that maybe a package deal of OP/Manny could come to fruition. But don’t hold your breath.

 

Outstanding find by UGOT2B-LIEVE is this video of Bobby Valentine telling a wonderful story on his mustache in the dugout appearance. This is classic.

 

More video wonderment this one from Michael Leggett of the great Random Fandom Red Sox NYC site as he took video this past weekend of the rubble that is Shea Stadium. With all the pics and video of the rubble left of Shea I find myself in a quandary. I loved Shea and even at “Fitty” years old whenever I’d go to Shea no matter the opponent I had the same enthusiasm as I had as a six year old, in 1964, the first time I walked into Shea. I have tons of memories in there not just of games and events I’ve seen there but with the people I went those games and events with. Some are gone some are older and the first time I went to Shea with my son and daughter was very emotional for me and now that they are full fledged Mets fan I’m just glad they were able to experience Shea Stadium. But then there are the days I went to Shea where the sewers were backing up and the corridors were so jammed you couldn’t walk and the lines for the bathrooms made you miss the action on the field and the pipes leaking from the mezzanine to the lodge section with a liquid substance that wasn’t water and the cramp seats and I say yeah it’s time for a new place. The one big problem I have with $iti Field is its’ name and the corporate greed that goes with it and my biggest fear that the true Mets fan will be kept out of the place in favor of the stuffed shirts who are there for “the event” and have not put their heart and soul into the team like you and me. If all my Upper Deck brethren get into to $iti then it will be a success if the it becomes just a place for the know nothing corporate hacks then it will be the end of the Mets as we know them. I fear this because the Skill Sets have no feel for their fan base, because if they did I’d be wearing a RAMIREZ 24 jersey today.

 

This has nothing to do with the Mets or baseball but I got a kick out it. Kulas Korner is a great hockey site and they have a video up of yesterdays Bruins-Canadians game where Alex Henry of the Habs and Shawn Thornton of the Bruins went toe to toe in a slobberknocker . B’s play by play man Jack Edwards goes off on Henry who is what we used to call back in the 70’s a Goon, very funny stuff but not as funny as the awful looking throwbacks the Habs wore yesterday that reminded me of a barber pole.

 

Happy Birthday Leo “Bananas” Foster 

  

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RANDOM ACT OF POSTING

With the World Series a day away from starting MLB invokes its gag order on the other 28 teams so as the spotlight can be shown on baseball’s showcase event. If your FOX this match up is a nightmare as neither team has a national following and most of the local yokels who claim to be long suffering fans of both teams are really bandwagoners but if you are a die hard baseball fan and put aside your allegiance to your favorite team and check your hatred for the NL champs at the door (Even if your a fan of the Highlanders and the Old Town Team, you can’t hate the Famous Rays as they helped pad your win totals for years so let them enjoy some national face time, besides most of the Famous Rays are future Mets, Highlanders or Red Sox anyway) this series has the makings of a great one.

 

Both teams are on a roll, both have excellent bullpens, both have engaging managers and both teams love to hit the long ball. The only draw back to this series besides not having our beloved Metropolitans in it is, FOX is televising it and that means Tim Mc Fullofshit and Doofus Joe Buck both of which are having a horrible post season. To make things worse FOX’ game telecast will give you motion sickness because their production team either hates sports or hates sports fans because after every pitch they cut to the stands, then the mangers, then the pitcher, then the batter, then back to the fans in the stands, then to the pitcher making the pitch an if the ball is not in play the repeat the sequence again. By the 5th inning you’re searching for your Mr. Met Puke Bucket that you thought you were finished with after the last J-Man pitching change of the season.

 

With all that I like the Famous Rays in 6. The Famous Rays have met each and every challenge this season whether it was going into to Fenway to take two of three during the season to hold on to first place or overcoming the Game 5 collapse and Game 6 loss to win the AL Pennant this team is now officially battle tested. As for the Phillies, Fuck them. 

 

Instead of tipping $100 bucks as the titie bar where Joba Chamberlain got his groove on the other night, he should have paid one of his buddies to be the designated driver plus get him a lap dance although you have to wonder the talent caliber in a Nebraska titie bar.

 

Here we have Mr. Sodom and Mr. Gomorrah meeting to work out a partnership to poison their fans with Mad Cow burgers, beak & toe Chicken Fingers and Snout Sausage.

 

Again the Mets are missing out on a great opportunity to add an edge to the organization if they don’t reach out Larry Bowa for their third base coaching job.

 

Sean Avery added spice to a very bad hockey game last night as the dull as dish water Rangers lost 2-1 to a Stars team that has given up goals by the ton so far this season but of course the Rangers or as they are known “The Wide of the Net Rangers” couldn’t hit the ocean with a puck off a pier again last night.  Avery talked shit to back up goalie Steve Valiquette during warm-ups and to King Henrik during the game. Brandon Dubinsky skated over to Avery to get him to move on and later in the game Avery was leveled by Dan Giradi and Paul Mara. The Garden Faithful let Avery know he is no longer a favorite of theirs as well. I read this today that Avery and MSG Networks John Gianone got into a very nasty altercation outside the Ranger locker room but Avery was his charming self when he was interviewed by the Maven after the game. I will say this about the on air staff of MSG especially Al Trautwig who has been talking non stop bullshit about Avery since Saturday night but when Avery was a Ranger and doing his ball breaking routine no one on the network had a discouraging word about the Avery Antics but now that he’s not a Ranger anymore he’s a prick with ears.

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