We all agree that the Mets bullpen has to be demolished and built back up. So before I detonate the TNT and blast it away to oblivion, the following relievers please step forward:

Pedro Feliciano

Brandon Knight

Joe Smith

Please leave to blasting area and enjoy your winter, See you in St. Lonesome in February.

The rest of you. SYA-FUCKING-NARA

Okay, now who do I want Omar to go after? I’m a Brian Fuentes fan and I wouldn’t mind signing him to close but he would be a fall back candidate and we all know Fuentes and K-Rod (his stock is dropping like he was listed on the Dow Jones) will not sign a dotted line until they meet with the Mets. Fuentes had a fine season and would come much cheaper than K-Rod. Fuentes had a WHIP of 1.10 (K-Rod 1.28) and his BB/K were 22/82 in 62 2/3 IP (K-Rod 34/74 BB/K in 68 IP) Fuentes has command of a fastball and slider that would look awfully good in the Mets pen.

The other free agent I’d go after is a no brainer Juan Cruz. Cruz size wise reminds me of former Mets reliever Tom “The Blade” Hall but pitching wise Cruz has exactly what is missing in the Mets pen that has been manned by to slop tossers, a flamethrower.

Another pitcher who would look handsome in Mets Blue and Orange is D-Backs reliever Chad Qualls. Qualls has fabulous size at 6’5 220 lbs and he’s a workhorse. Last year he appeared in 77 games and pitched 73 2/3 innings. His BB/K was a sterling 18/71 with a WHIP of 1.07. Qualls avoided arbitration last year by signing a 1yr/$1.3 mil deal and he could more than that triple that this year. With the D-Backs counting pennies and the Skill Sets shitting $100 bills I’m sure Omar could work his magic in a deal for the much needed Qualls.

Now my SLEEPER pick for this off season would take a deal to get and it might be a bit costly but I would almost (ALMOST) invoke a moratorium of my attacks on the Skill Sets if Omar could acquire Matt Capps from the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Capps had 21 saves for the lowly Bucos and in 53 2/3 IP his BB/K mark is 5/39 That’s right FIVE walks in just under 54 IP add to that a WHIP of 0.97 and that Capps is 25 years old and raw boned I would do whatever is necessary to bag Capps. I’d go as far as to find a way to add LHP John Grabow in the deal I’d seriously look at putting F-Mart, Nick Evans and Luis Castillo with a book of blank checks in his pocket from the Skill Sets account   which the Pirates could use to pay Gimp every two weeks You could sweet talk the Bucs into adding a another prospect, you know be creative I’m sure Omar and Neal Huntington can work something out.

I’m happy with the re-sign of Fernando Tatis and I’m sure we could all live with a  Murphy/Tatis LF platoon. The bench needs strengthen and versaliliaty so Omar needs to land either Willie Bloomquist (my choice) Jerry Hairston Jr. or Felipe Lopez to the every man on the bench.

Yes I want a new number catcher and you all know of my crush on Pierzynski but I’ll say this as well; as great as he was in the second half last year I will be disappointed if Carlos Delgado is the opening day first baseman. He proved us all wrong last year but he needs to go. It’s not personnel it’s business. As great as Delgado was I still look at him as a “Me” guy and not a “We” guy and if D-Wright is going to become the leader if this franchise and its face then 2009 is the place to start. It seems that Delgado is the voice in that clubhouse, a clubhouse that gagged two years in a row so if Omar, Tony B, J-Man and Jeffey want to get peoples attention then they need to ship Delgado out pronto.

It’s been called a Yacker, Yellow Hammer, Uncle Charley and it some very rare cases (see Koufax, Sandy Blyleven, Bert, Viola, Sweet Music and Gooden, Dwight) Lord Charles.  It’s the curveball. As historians tell us  was developed by a pitcher with a porn star name, Candy Cummings back in the 1870 and since been perfected by the four pitchers I mentioned and when it’s thrown correctly it’s a devastating pitch.

Last night the Mets put a year of bad luck into the hands of a soon to be 22 year old Jonathon Neise who had the unenviable task of making sure the Mets did not get swept by the pathetic Atlanta Braves, a team that looks as broken down as it’s 104 year old manager. Niese was brilliant last night as his curveball with it’s big 12 to 6 break was unhitable and gave the fans a lesson in basic baseball, throw strikes, get ahead, win game.

It also helped that the offense showed up in game 2 as it’s very easy to point the finger at the bullpen for game one loss and it would have been a huge boost  if Brain Stokes got out of the 8th inning jam but you wonder if the offense had come through in big spots with the bases loaded to break open just a drag along boring game, that J-Man manages it differently by taking a hard working Johan Santana out after 7 innings and letting Figgie, Knight or even Bobby Parnell come in to mop up. But it didn’t work out that way but this is not your 2007 Mets team as they came back rejuventized by a 21 year old leftie at his coming out party.

Jon Niese Dan Murphy, Nick Evans, Joe Smith, Bobby Parnell, Fernando Martinez, Jose Reyes, David Wright, are not a bad bunch of home grown players that the Mets farm system has produced. Add in what’s coming up next in Brad Holt, Wilmer Flores, Jefry Marte, Josh Satin and Ike Davis the State of the Mets looks very strong. Not bad for an organization that the “experts” claimed had a barren farm.

Here is what you need to know about last night s loss, Boardwalk Lee Mazzilli thought it was the worst loss of the year. Now when Pollyanna Lee says it’s bad, IT’S BAD.

As with all of these types of Mets losses we look for the player or players to rip the shit out of and there is always the usual suspects but one name seems to come up whenever there has been a shit the bed moment this season and that’s Scott Schoeneweis forever now known here as The Mush. The Mush besides having the inability to get a big out has the worst body language in sports. He always looks to me like the last place he wants to be is on the pitchers mound in a big spot. I feel this theory is true because Warlord Jerry used him as a last resort as he went to the junk yard six times before calling for Mush.  

This disaster is not all bullpen related, in fact Brian Stokes, Joe Smith and Balls of Steel Aaron Heilman all did great jobs. Sure Luis Ayala broke his cherry with a blown save (welcome to the Mets,. Luis) but a little better relay by Damien Easley and maybe if Brain Schnieder stood in front of home plate he’d have gotten Jason Werth but that’s neither here nor there. The guy who is not feeling the heat he should is my guy Petey who when staked to a seven run lead let it get away. Petey put J-Man is a position to go heavily into the weakest part of the team, the bullpen to save this game. 

You can go after the offense for not adding on runs and if you want to kill Sugarpants and the Greatest Puerto Rican baseball player of all time whose last name is not Clemente go ahead but when you scored your runs when the offense puts up seven runs early the pitching staff has to win that game. No excuses.

The bright spot was Petey hitting 90-91 on the gun but the problem was two fold, his location and his movement as he was lacking in both.  If your going to throw straight fastballs and keep or pitches down in the zone at Citizen Bank then you might as well forfeit the game and save everyone over five hours of agony.

When the off season comes around the biggest task for the Mets front office will be the dismantling of the bullpen and build a brand new pen that might even include a new closer now that Wags is damaged goods. Forget about spending big money on Mark Texieria who is more luxury item than need. Spend the dough on CC Sabathia and sit down with the brain trust and try to put together the best bullpen you can find. That’s baseball in the 21 Century it’s the bullpen stupid.

As much as my nuts still hurt from getting them kicked last night I’m not panicking because we have seen this all season. The Mets will win tonight and then go onto to Florida and win at least 2 of 3 and then go to Milwaukee and beat then in the series as well because it’s been like this all year, whenever we are ready as fans to throw in the towel this team proves us wrong. I just wish they’d leave my balls alone.

Some days when I write a post it’s tougher to hit that publish button than others. Yesterday when I was ready to hit the button, I paused for a moment and re-read the post again thinking that maybe calling out the Mets relievers as a bunch of no balls sissy’s that I may have gone over the top. But I hit the button knowing that was just how I felt that no one has stepped up in time of adversity as you are supposed to do when injuries hit. Well, last night Warlord Jerry not only gave me his seal of approval of that post he in fact added to what I felt as he called out his bullpen dwellers by responding to questions of his pen by saying that he was ready to hand the closers role over to Eddie Kunz (until Billy Wags finishes his rehab and zeppole’s on Coney Island ) as he stated no one else has risen to the occasion. Which was the polite way of saying that the pen lacks testosterone. Then he laid out his plan to take either OP, John Maine, or Big Pelf into the pen for the rest of the season which was J-Man’s way of embarrassing the relievers. One bullpen bottom feeder, Scott Schoenewies, finally strapped on a pair of nuts and called a meeting of Men Without Testicles to see if any of his fellow arsonists are embarrassed enough to get some male enhancement and take the J-Man, Kranepool Society challenge and prove us wrong. 

It worked last night as J-Man brought in Joe Smith for the 8th and Pedro Feliciano for the 9th with Eddie Kunz warming away in the pen just in case. Give Warlord Jerry credit, if going to call out you players, it’s best to do it when your playing the worst team in baseball.  Joe Smith had tons of movement on his pitches last night and Feliciano after getting  lefty swinging Willie Harris  out he looked into the dugout toward J-Man waiting for him to trot out and raise his right hand high for Big Eddie. But J-Man just stared at Feliciano and made no movement, in effect telling the Other Pedro to show his balls to him and get out of the inning. And he did. Again it was the Nationals one of the suckiest teams I’ve seen a long time (the bloom is off the Manny Acta rose but the way) so let’s not wet our draws over the win last night. When I see the relievers taking on Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, and Pat Burrell and beating their ass then we will have something to celebrate.’  

I had more stuff to spew venom about but I have a ton of stuff to do today soooooo I think I’ll do some live blogging tonight during Mets-Nats and the return of John Maine. I’ll also flip around to the Cards-Marlins game for some commentary on that one so hopefully I’ll see you later.

I watch J-Man in his post game pressers after his bullpen blows yet another game and I must say I admire him greatly. When asked about his bullpens latest choke job he said they pitched with “hesitation and trepidation from contact” which politely means that his relievers are scared shitless to throw strikes and until Aaron Heilman, Pedro Feliciano, Joe Smith and Scott Schoeneweis to name the four main culprits, grow a pair of balls and start challenging hitters there will be more of these type of games. Warlord Jerry has used just about every option he has to his disposal (I‘d love to hear his conversations with Omar Minaya about the bullpen fiasco) and the fact that the Mets blew a 5-1 lead to a team that is not only out of contention, but played a three city road trip and came to town twelve hours before game time and put on a performance in the first three innings like they wished they could just forfeit the game and go home to the Steel City.  That’s what makes this latest meltdown and loss more painful not only was this a game that was handed to the Mets on a platter but the Cheesesteakers and the Tuna’s both lost last night so to sum up the NL East, it won’t be the best team won but the team that sucks the least that comes out on top.

The more I keep telling myself I shouldn’t get aggravated about this team, the more I become like a fucking wild man watching these games. Here’s how psychotic I am. I listened to the game at work and when Schoeneweis gave up the single to Steve Pearce, I shut the radio and walked out of the office and went home. So what do I do when I get home? I watch the replay of the game. I deserve a kick in the ass. I’ll say this, I’ve been an Aaron Heilman defender but when you fall behind 3-0 to Luis Rivas (LUIS “FUCKIN” RIVAS) and you just struck out Nate McLouth, and you allow Rivas to get a base hit against you, you deserve to get hit with an empty Rheingold bottle. This is why Heilman should not be a late inning reliever he is not a GANGSTA’ and J-Man knows he’s no GANGSTA’ and that the only GANGSTA’ he has is Wags who is out. Schoeneweis? PULLLEEEZZEEE! Joe Smith? Like the swallows going back to Capistrano, when August rolls around Joe Smith’s right arm turns into a wet noodle. Meanwhile a big  strapping young reliever is sitting in the bullpen spiting sunflower seeds as eunuch after eunuch is sent out to do a mans job. PLEASE J-MAN, FOR ALL OUR SANITY, USE EDDIE KUNZ TO CLOSE UNTIL BILLY WAGS GETS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. What’s the worst thing that could happen he blows a fucking game! At least we will see a new arm flushing our pennants hopes down the toilet.  The next 14 games for the Mets are against teams that are playing for next year (Nats-Bucs-Braves-Astros) the Mets MUST win a minimum of 10 games in that stretch , anything less than that well, then it’s time for Brett Farve, Eli Manning and NY Rangers training camp.

Warlord Jerry getting tossed out of the game in the 9th inning yesterday was more out of frustration of his inept relievers than Bill Hohn’s strike zone  but one thing it gave us was that Bill Hohn has not bought a calendar in thirty years. Did you see that John Holmes ‘stache on Hohn when he took his mask off to toss J-Man? Holy Shit! Last time I saw a guy with a ‘stache like that Vanessa Del Rio was on the receiving end of Holmes’ schlong.

Reading Peter King’s MMQB and I see where a new football league called the United Football League will start up next year looking like it will take the place of NFL Europe as a developmental league for the NFL. One of the teams will be here in NYC and owned by the Skill Sets and get this, will play at $iti Field. Are you kidding me? How can a football team and a baseball team share a facility at the same time this make no sense and hopefully like most of King’s reporting this one is filed under BULLSHIT. But I will make this prediction. The Skill Sets within 3 years will buy the NY Islanders and move them from Uniondale to Brooklyn NY and Bruce Ratner’s  Downtown arena.

I can’t wait to see tonights lineup as J-Man is about fed up with Ramon Castro and his “injured ankle” what is it with Castro that when it’s time to step up this guy always runs and hides? If J-Man goes to him tonight and he says he can’t play then the Mets need to put his fat ass on the DL. Problem is two many nice guys in that Mets clubhouse, someone needs to go Prince Fielder on Castro’s ass.     

It looks like the Comeback Player of the Year in baseball is Scott Boras. First he gets his newest client Manny Ramirez to jake his way out of his contract so he can go free agent in November and a nice commission check for Agent Boras. And now the resurrected Ollie Perez is looking at a boat load of cash as he hits the free agent market as well.   About a month, month and a half ago, it looked like the Mets would rid thenselves of this enigmatic pitcher and use the money saved else where but the since the change in pitching coach and a new KISS system put in place by Dean of Old School Werthen in dealing with OP, it looks like the Mets have to hope that OP wants to stay a Met and maybe won’t bend them over too far and give them a bit of a “hometown” discount. With Agent Boras doing the negations that won’t happen as he’ll plow the Mets until they bleed.

The first seven innings went along as well as a Mets fan could expect last night  but like a kid afraid of the dark, Mets fans are afraid of the last three innings as that means time to go to the B-B-B-ULLPEN!  I’m sure I speak for the majority of Mets fans that when we see the sixth inning roll around our stomachs grumble and the pain starts from the bottom of our belly to around the chest area. The pain gets more intense as to who walks out though the right field fence. If the game is one sided either way then Carlos Muniz or Ruddy Lugo come out and your relatively pain free. In a close game and the Mets need to get a lefty out Pedro Feliciano comes in and it starts to get uncomfortable. If it’s a righty that needs to be retired then Joe Smith comes in and while not Feliciano uncomfortable ,you squrim a bit. Now in a close game just the shot of Scott Schoenwies on the screen warming up gives you a sharp pain in the abdomen. Now in a close game -two, three runs or less-no matter who is warming up brings on nausea, headache, and overall muscle soreness.  Last night when Aaron Heilman came on in the eighth all those symptoms came over me. Then when he came out for the ninth, I dialed 911 and kept my finger on the call button as I was sure I would need medical assistance. WWWWHHHEEEEEEWWWW!!!!!!!! Glad I didn’t have to push that button but I don’t know if I can go two more months of this.

Hopefully Ryan Church is symptom free and gets in a few rehab games and is fit to fight in about two weeks. It seems like Church is annoyed with the Mets for being over cautious and wants back in and that’s a good sign but Church  has to realize that the organization screwed up with the handling of his case and now wants to make sure when he gets back in the lineup he stays there the rest of the season. With Dan Murphy and Fernando Tatis doing more than hold the fort, Church needs to get to as close to 100 % as he can before coming back.  

I watched a replay of Highlanders Old Timers Day the other night and Willie Randolph looked like the happiest guy in the world being around his Highlander family. Good for him in fact Randolph should just take any job Pack A Day Hank gives him as it shows his heart never left the South Bronx and that it cements his firing was justified.

I read my calendar wrong I’m going to the game tomorrow not today so instead of a fleece blanket I’ll be receiving a Billy Wagner bobble head doll. I’m going to bring a little sling for the bobble heads left arm.

With Brian Stokes going tonight for the Mets OP’s start will look even bigger when Stokes is knocked out by the 5th inning. I just hope he doesn’t have a case of the big league yips like Brandon Knight had a couple of weeks ago. This start should have gone to Aaron Heilman case closed.

The J-E-T-S  JETS-JETS-JETS are always on top in April and August it’s December and January where they have problems. Brett Farve does not  guarantee even a playoff spot no less a Super Bowl berth but maybe they can get 10 wins tops. And why was Farve at NYC City Hall yesterday don’t you think he should have been burning the midnight oil at Hofstra?

Funny I don’t feel “Fitty”? I had a very nice birthday it would have benn better if the Mets could have won (thank you Joe Smith and Scott Schoeneweis) but I did get some very nice gifts. A Mets t-shirt with the NY in a shamrock, Fay Vincent’s book on old ballplayers, the Shea Stadium DVD with the Essential Games and an baseball scoreboard that works off satellite like a GPS that give you up to date scores, standings and probable pitchers for all MLB games. We had dinner in Hyannis and watched the Sawx as I think it’s a state law that no other baseball game but Red Sox games can be shown in public.

I see where Jon Maine was yanked from last nights game with  shoulder soreness that Old School Warthen says it is not serious but they will still send Maine to NYC for a “picture” as J-Man likes to call an MRI so my guess is by Friday Maine’s arm will be amputated.

With teams asking too much for Omar and the Mets to give up, it looks like unless the price for Raul Ibanez drops alot the Mets wil go with Fernando Tatis as the everyday LF’er and call up Dan Murphy to add his bat and limited defensive skills. I know Omar lusts for Manny but the Mets do not have the chips for a deal to be made. Don’t worry Manny Mets fans we will have all winter to pursue the Manny Trail.

If anything the Mets look to need some bullpen help as Joe Smith and Scott Schoenwiess pitched awful last night as did Carlos Muniz and I am very disappointed in Muniz as he is getting his chance to show he belongs in the big leagues as he has not risen up to the task.

RHP Jon Neise was moved up to NOLA and looks like the guy who will take John Maine’s place if Maine is DL’d or even if the Mets decide to give him a start off.

Petey looks like he penciled in for Friday against the Astros with an 80 pitch limit let’s hope it not one and done for Petey.

Time to hit the treadmill as I had ice cream last night (hey it was my birthday) but now that I am officially an old man I have to watch my middle aged figure.