SNOW IN FEBRUARY? WHAT’S NEXT ? A HEAT WAVE IN AUGUST ?

  9 days until pitchers and catchers

I’ve had it uptohere with everyone panicking over the impending snow storm heading to NYC by tonight. Yes it is going to snow and snow a lot, about a foot and yes all the assholes will attack the local supermarket to buy 10 gallons of milk and 15 loaves of bread because we all know a snowstorm in NYC is worse than an earthquake in Port A Prince. 

Its fucking incredible how people shit themselves when they here of a snow storm coming. It snows, you shovel, it piles up and guess what? IT GOES AWAY!!!!!!! In the fifty-one years I’ve been breathing and living in NYC THIS HAPPENS EVERY WINTER. DDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL WWIIIIIITTTTHHHHH IIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !

Now that I got that out of system, The Mets will now slice the center field wall in half to a new height of 8 ft. Also the player’s moms will be responsible on a rotating basis to provide orange slice for each home game.

Marcus Thames (as pointed out by our resident Highlander fan Michael) has signed a minor league deal with the Bronx Bastards. I called Omar Minaya for to ask about the Mets having any interested in Thames or any other free agent still on the market. Here is a transcript of our conversation:

EKS: Omar, with the team not making many moves this off season and basically going with the same starting pitching staff that was dreadful last season, is there any interest in a pitcher like Jarrod Washburn?

Omar Minaya: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

EKS: Marcus Thames signed a minor league deal with the team in the Bronx. A pretty good righty bat who can play outfield and first base, did you have any interested in bringing Thames into the Mets fold?

Minaya: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

EKS:  Thanks for your time Omar.

Sorry I got to go now and head to Shop Rite before all the olive loaf and liverwurst is gone. I don’t know if you heard but a BIG FUCKING SNOW STORM IS COMING!!!!!!!

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WITH 10 BUCKS FOR HIS CO-PAY, JOHAN SANTANA HEADS TO SEE THE DOCTOR

As I just try to take it easy for a few hours before heading out to watch my fourth CYO Basketball game in three days and arranging my shovels and rock salt for what is supposed to be the mother of all snow storms headed toward NYC (Please let’s hope the weather dopes keep their forecast losing streak intact because the last thing I want to do is shovel 8 plus inches of snow. The only way I would enjoy this storm though would be if Megan Glaros personally came to my home to deliver the forecast.) News out of St Lonesome today was Johan Santana throwing 35 pitches and not running off the mound in pain but saying he feels “pretty good” but the Mets are not taking any chances so he will put on a plane (hopefully soon to avoid the snow storm) to be evaluated by Mets top doc David Altcheck.

Old School Dan Werthen feels that Johan tried to get back faster than he should have because he had ideas of pitching for Team Venezuela in the WBC and if that is not enough to end this ridiculous tournament what else is? If there were no WBC Santana would have come to camp working on getting to opening day but instead he pushed himself to much in early training and now there is a good chance we won’t be ready for opening day. Yeah Bud your doing a heck of a job.

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