ALL THAT’S MISSING IS THE MARCHING BAND

There is nothing easy with these Mets. Johan Santana was vintage Santana last night but no Mets game is complete until we have the late inning Relievers on Parade with your Grand Marshall Jerry Manuel. Instead of a warm up jacket and Mets cap, Manuel should wear blue and orange tuxedo with tails, a top hat and sash.

I won’t say J-Man manages scared but this is the problem when you have a lame duck manager, every game is a referendum on his job. Mets beat Highlanders and I expect Ryan Seacrest to pop up on SNY to say the “the votes are in, and Jerry you are safe to advance to the Phillies series” which of course is 100 times more important than the played out Subway Series . Sure it’s good to beat the Taliban of Baseball but the real enemy is making its way up the Jersey Turnpike for three big games.

You have to be encouraged by the pitching match up for the Mets in this up coming series. First, no John Maine or Ollie Perez as R.A. Dickey and Hisinori Takahashi are both upgrades over those two stumble bums, as Dickey will go against Jamie Moyer and Takahashi gets Joe Blanton, then on Wednesday Big Pelf takes on Sissy-Boy Hamels.

There’s no question the Mets need another starter (Mark Buehrle anyone?) but just the fact that Maine and Perez are out of the rotation is a plus as Dickey and Takahashi can not be as bad or worse than the later two.

I hate talking bad about Joe Morgan, as he is one of my favorite players of all time but between him, John Miller and Orel Hershiser they could make you hate watching baseball. Morgan with his “the more runs you score the better your odds of winning the game” analysis reminds me of Chauncey Gardiner. Maybe if John Miller took time away from looking in the mirror while working on his exaggerated pronunciation of Latin surnames (he had to bring up Carlos Beltran just so he could say Bel-TRAN) he’d have gotten the ground rule right on the overly annoying Francisco Cervelli’ 335 ft single, the orange line is just for show John Mi-LLER. The Bulldog doesn’t annoy me but after Morgan and Miller my head just goes numb.

Could the Mets being getting another break with Luis Castillo sore heel? With Ruben Tejada playing well at Buffalo, trip to the DL for Castillo could force a promotion of Tejada to step into the 2nd base position and free up Alex Cora to do his leadership thing.

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WHAT, NO DONUTS?

I work in a satellite office of the Agency I work for so when the big brass come for a visit it’s not to see if we have enough Deer Park for our water cooler no, it’s usually for something we fucked up because when you do something right, it never gets acknowledged, but when they do come a callin’ they always bring coffee and donuts. It kind of softens the blow of getting our ass reamed out. Yesterday the Mets Brass led by the biggest Ass decided to go to Atlanta to tear the manger, coaches and players a new asshole but not only did those folks mentioned leave with their rectums intact, the cheap fuck Jeffey didn’t even bring donuts.

Speculation ran rampant through the Land of Blue and Orange that Jerry Manuel, HoJo and Old School Werthen were ready to get pink slipped because why else would the Little Shithead make a trip down South right. Well, not only did no one lose their job, the manager displayed what he thinks of the owner and baseball ops when he came out of his office after the 90 minute meeting and was as asked if he still had a job by replying “I still got my uniform on right” and then gave that laugh that only J-Man can. Right there an owner with balls would have said to take the fucking uni off and go home.

Not only that, Jeffey Skill Sets didn’t even address the team. It seem most players either didn’t know or care that the owner, the GM and Asst’ GM (John Rico) were in the house. It would have made a huge statement if Jeffey called Oliver Perez out in the clubhouse and handed him his unconditional release and then look a GMJ and tell him “Oh and here is one for you too” and then give Jeff Francouer a look and say “you’re lucky that F-Mart kid is made of paper mache or I’d have one for you too” but again that would take a man with balls, with conviction, with leadership three things non-existent in the Mets organization. By the way, good seats still available for this weekends Subway Series at $iti Field

One good thing came out the pow-wow was sending Jenry Mejia down to the minors to stretch out his arm to join the starting rotation sometime this summer. Another experiment gone wrong.

Want a job at WFAN ? Requirments are you must have absolutely no knowledge of sports. Last night on Twitter, Sal Licatta, who’s job it is to fetch Mike Francesa his Diet Cokes, Tweeted that the Mets and Highlanders should make a deal, the Mets send Vitamin Pedro to the Bronx for Ramiro Pena. This caused quite the shitstorm as Mets fans gave Licatta a verbal beat down, and unlike his Pompus Ass Boss, Licatta could not hand wave them away. Stick to being Francesa’ toady Sal.

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