“HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY:THE BOBBY VALENTINE STORY”

The life of Bobby Valentine is a reality show waiting to happen. After I realizedI wasn’t making it to work today, I turned on Ch2 news (I watch Ch 2 news because I have a huge crush on Mary Calvi. Not only is she gorgeous but even as she’s telling me it’s another Snowgedon day it just seems much more pleasant when she explains it) and all I hear about is this awful traffic jam on I95 near Stanford CT. As the on scene reporter is giving the details, in the background there is a man directing traffic, not just any ordinary man but none other than Stanford’s Safety Director and former Mets manager, Bobby Valentine.

Seems a couple of tractor trailers jack-knifed on the highway and being the conciencious civil servant that he is, Valentine came out to help help get the cars and trucks flowing again.

No truth to the report that one of the tractor-trailer drivers was Armando Benitez.

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IT’S OKAY YOU DIDN’T MISS MUCH

The big debate in our section today at Shea (Section 40 of the Upper Deck) was where was everyone ? It seems it wasn’t just our section asking the question? Don’t get me wrong there were a lot of fans at the game but not 54,000 plus as was reported maybe 45,000 or so which is a healthy number and a sell out at $iti Field but the lack of full house made me look like a idiot. I had my family up and out of the house by 10 AM “Hey, it’s Billy Wagner Bobble Head day  and the game is sold out (so said the Mets web site) and you want to stop to get lunch (SUBWAY on 108 St four sandwiches for the price of one at SUBWAY in the RF food court) and then <HORROR> WE HAVE TO FIND PARKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know if it’s all those “Take Mass Transit to Shea” ads or just the fact that one day we got to the stadium late and had to park near the tennis center that has me soiling my boxers over parking.

 

Well even with the usual bullshit traffic jam on the Gowanus (my next car will have a fucking rocket launcher on the hood just to take out the assholes who drive allllllllllll the way down to the BQE/Brooklyn Bridge merge and cut in)  and the non-English speaking counterperson in SUBWAY (in the immortal words of the great Sheepshead Bay philosopher Andrew Dice Clay, “If you want to live here, LEARN THE FUCKIN’ LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!) and the unsyncnized traffic lights, we get to Shea, park the car in the MTA lot across from that Stadium and get our Billy Wagner Bobblehead dolls all by 11:45AM. WHOOP-DEE-DOO After that the afternoon went down hill.

 

Not only did most of ticket holders not show up but neither did the Mets. For a team that should have been primed to put the hammer down on a team they are neck and neck with, the Mets played like it was a late March afternoon in St. Lonesome. The only one who showed up for work was Daniel Murphy who is Dave Magadan with pop. So much for all the “experts” who said the Mets have a weak farm system and no depth as we have seen the last three weeks or so this team does have some players in the system and some are potential stars. So a tip of the Mets cap to Omar Minaya and the much maligned Tony Bernazard for that.

 

Big Pelf was rolling along until the fifth when he suddenly lost command of the strike zone. He got Hanley Ramirez to fly to Chavez in right but then walked “Roids Gonzalez to set up a big inning for the Fish. Cantu grounded out allowing Gonzo to advance to second with two out setting up a decision for Pelf and the Mets. Old School Dean, Dan Warthen came out and it looked like the question would be “pick your poison” Mike Jacobs the lefty or go after Dan Uggla?  Uggla has cooled off since the All Star break so it looked as if Pelf and the Mets decided to pitch around Jacobs and go after Uggla. Jacobs walked and Uggla made the Mets pay with a two run double to the gap in right/center. Big Pelf clearly was pissed off about the what just transpired and took it out on Cody Ross by hitting him square in the back (Ross is an annoying little prick in the Shane Victorino annoying little prick mold so seeing him take one in the back was the Mets Highlight of the Day. Give Big Pelf a Croton watch for that)   and with the pitcher spot to come to bat next inning for the Mets, they   needed Pelf to get out the inning but after walking Jeremy Hermidia that was it for Big Pelf and Eddie Kunz came in and gave up a walk before K’ing Josh Johnson to end the inning.  While most of the game the fans eyes were fixated on the sky as we all watched the weather reports this morning about the end of the world rain that was coming (it didn’t rain until the 9th inning by the way thank you local meteorologists YOU SUCK!!!) it seemed the Mets were wishing for a big gully washer to end their miserable day.

 

Two things that made me smile at Shea toady besides a great parking space:

 

While filling out my scorecard, the Shea PA system played “Everyday is like Sunday “ by Morrissey  and then Jane Jarvis took down Number 24 on the Shea Countdown off the outfield wall.

 

The saddest thing I experienced at Shea today:

 

I was the only person in my section who not only knew who Jane Jarvis was but actually stood and applauded her. My kids were embarrassed (not as much as my son was when we met Jerry Remy in Hyannis as my son called me a “fan-girl” not even a fan-boy but a girl as he said I went way over the top in talking the Rem-Dog ) then when I tried to explain to them how we would clap to the Mexican Hat Dance when Lady Jane played the Thomas Organ between innings they all wanted to crawl under their seats. Nasty little kids! 

 

Back to work for me tomorrow after two weeks off and I am dreading the amount of work that will be on my desk. If I post anything tomorrow it will be in the PM or I’ll be in Central Booking for shredding government documents to lessen my work load.  

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