9 days until pitchers and catchers

I’ve had it uptohere with everyone panicking over the impending snow storm heading to NYC by tonight. Yes it is going to snow and snow a lot, about a foot and yes all the assholes will attack the local supermarket to buy 10 gallons of milk and 15 loaves of bread because we all know a snowstorm in NYC is worse than an earthquake in Port A Prince. 

Its fucking incredible how people shit themselves when they here of a snow storm coming. It snows, you shovel, it piles up and guess what? IT GOES AWAY!!!!!!! In the fifty-one years I’ve been breathing and living in NYC THIS HAPPENS EVERY WINTER. DDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL WWIIIIIITTTTHHHHH IIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !

Now that I got that out of system, The Mets will now slice the center field wall in half to a new height of 8 ft. Also the player’s moms will be responsible on a rotating basis to provide orange slice for each home game.

Marcus Thames (as pointed out by our resident Highlander fan Michael) has signed a minor league deal with the Bronx Bastards. I called Omar Minaya for to ask about the Mets having any interested in Thames or any other free agent still on the market. Here is a transcript of our conversation:

EKS: Omar, with the team not making many moves this off season and basically going with the same starting pitching staff that was dreadful last season, is there any interest in a pitcher like Jarrod Washburn?

Omar Minaya: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

EKS: Marcus Thames signed a minor league deal with the team in the Bronx. A pretty good righty bat who can play outfield and first base, did you have any interested in bringing Thames into the Mets fold?

Minaya: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

EKS:  Thanks for your time Omar.

Sorry I got to go now and head to Shop Rite before all the olive loaf and liverwurst is gone. I don’t know if you heard but a BIG FUCKING SNOW STORM IS COMING!!!!!!!

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